Tides And The Moon
by aria009hera
Summary: Kria has been heartbroken, depressed, down in the dumps.. Does Reyaansh's sudden unwanted presence in her life make things better? Or make it worse? Read and Review please..
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

Dil luttiya ae mast nighawan  
Dil luttiya ae mast nighawan  
Tera naam japdi phiran soneya  
Main tera naam japdi phiran

Dear Rey,

Kaise ho aap?

I know this is another pathetic attempt from me to write to you. But what else option do I have? Every single day, I wake up with a new hope to wipe you from my life.

But every single day, I end up with this.

For almost a year now, every night I think of you. And here I thought I had all the strength in the world.

How have you been Rey?

This, I know for a fact, that you are happy now, my love…

Ask me how?

Tere naam toh sadke main jaawan  
Tere naam toh sadke main jaawan  
Tera naam japdi phiran soneya  
Main tera naam japdi phiran

That is coz I have seen you… Smile, laugh, love…

Your happiness had always been the world to me..

No matter how much I have tried to hide it all even when I was with you, your smile was all that mattered.

And now, after a whole year, when maa let me come to you just once, I will regret all my life that I didn't meet you…

But what was I supposed to do?

You were with her… gently carressing her tresses… Holding her hand on the canteen table..

You were busy… So much so, that you didn't even notice me standing across the room…

Tere saath seekha maine, jeene ka saleekha re  
Tere saath seekha maine, jeene ka saleekha re  
Dukh ko bhulaane ka bhi, aaya hai tareeka re  
Dukh ko bhulaane ka bhi, aaya hai tareeka re

Though I never admitted this to anyone, but… I'll gladly accept this before you… You were the one who actually made me feel alive.

That's why it had hurt.. At that time.. leaving you so lifeless..

Trust me, no matter how many times I have written this… I still am sorry for leaving you. With all what is left of my heart, I never wanted to do it.

The amount of hurt I have caused you, will always be a burden to me. And despite of everything, I am elated to know you have found love again.

So, inspite of all the pleas by Swayam to meet you at least once, I didn't.

I couldn't bear hurting you, or for that matter confusing you. So I left. Again.

Nach nach ke main  
Nach nach ke main  
Nach nach ke main  
Mauj manawan  
Nach nach ke main  
Mauj manawan  
Tera naam japdi phiran soneya  
Main tera naam japdi phiran

I still dance. The days I miss you the most, I still dance. To say that it makes me feel better, wouldn't be right. It's just that it keeps me going. Gives me strength enough to live another day.

I still try to justify everyday to myself, that what all I sacrificed, was for the best.

When I try to think practically, wasn't our relationship meaningless?

How could I think a future for us would exist?

You, being a business tycoon's son. And me, not even knowing who my father is.

A match not quite made in heaven right?

So when Swayam told she was his sister, somewhere it pricked. Yes, to be honest, I felt jealous. Not because you loved her now…

It was just that I wished with all my heart to be born in her place. Without a worry in the world. With a silver spoon. Just like Swayam. Just like Sharon. Just like her. Just like YOU.

Maine toh khushiyaan saari, tere naam laayi ve  
Maine toh khushiyaan saari, tere naam laayi ve  
Meri yeh khushi hai ke main tere kamm aayi ve  
Meri yeh khushi hai ke main tere kamm aayi ve

But what is the use of being jealous?

I'd rather be happy.

You moved on. That's what I had fervently prayed for every single day.

And finally, seeing my prayers answered, I could not thank god enough.

Atleast some of life's happiness I was able to give you when I was with you.

That is more than enough for me to live by.

Rahe hasda tu mangdi duawan  
Rahe hasda tu mangdi duawan  
Tera naam japdi phiran soneya  
Main tera naam japdi phiran  
Tere naam toh sadke main jaawan  
Tere naam toh sadke main jaawan  
Tera naam japdi phiran soneya  
Main tera naam japdi phiran

I had really felt like home in your arms, Rey. And I hope and pray that she makes you feel at home too..

Someday, when I finally get over you, I will come and meet you… And even though my heart bleeds on imagining such a scenario, I hope you don't forget me…

I hope you remember me, even if it's just as a ruthless ex… Still, a small remembrance is all I hope..

Forever yours

Kria

She folded the letter neatly, and put it in an envelope. Sealing the envelope securely, she placed it into a stack. A stack, which consisted of many such envelopes, one after the other.

Wiping her eyes, she made her way downstairs, to the small party her mom had thrown on her finally graduating and landing herself into GIM, Goa… One of the prestigious b-schools in India.

Her mother had slobbered her down with kisses, the day acceptance letter had arrived home… And she, she had faked all the happiness she could muster.

She sighed… A new chapter. A new beginning. Tomorrow, she would burn the letters herself. Hoping it would burn away the past.

* * *

Rey moved a little on his bed… Covering himself with the bedsheet that Taani had been hogging up…

_"Goa? Mumbai mei bhi toh Management Colleges hai naa Rey… Aapko toh kahi bhi admission mil jaaega…"_

_"Haan love… But this is something that I have passed on my own caliber… I don't want to miss this opportunity…"_

_"But I will miss you… Why can't you stay in Mumbai…" She had pouted… _

And he had kissed that cute pout away… One thing had led to another, and here they were… lying next to each other in all there naked glory…

He moved away from the bed. Covering himself in the sheet..

He opened his study table drawer, and took out the acceptance letter..

**Welcome to Goa Institute of Management.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

She had been depressed ever since. And today, there was no bound to her cribbing. After all, he reasoned, he was leaving her. All alone.

She had been sobbing silently every now and then, and he, all he could do was watch her helplessly among the crowd that had gathered to bid each other goodbye.

What else could Rey do but watch her wilt? It was essential for him to pursue this degree, and he was leaving tomorrow. He was just waiting for the two of them to get some alone time so that he could soothe her.

And finally, the alone time had arrived. He had dragged her to the roof on that barren night. Just the two of them.

Kria had tried. Like every single day, she had tried again.

But again, she had ended up on her desk, instead of double-checking the packing, she had ended up with the pen in her hand.

Aasmaan… tera mera hua  
Khwaab ki tarah dhuaan dhuaan…

He held her close, cupping her face… Wiping away the silent trickling tears that had made their way out.

Aasmaan.. tera mera hua  
Saans ki tarah ruaan ruaan

With his hand slowly caressing her cheek, he gazed into those wet black eyes… Searching for some reason to stay…

Ho jaaye jahan tu jaaye,  
Paaye mujhe hi paaye…  
Saaye yeh mere,  
Hai tujh mein samaaye…

_Dear Rey, _

_Kaise ho aap?_

_I know, one more time. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow when I reach Goa, I will finally give up writing such sob stories to you. _

_I tried burning them away, Rey. Trust me, I did. _

_It's just that I wasn't strong enough. _

Saiyaara main saiyaara,  
Saiyaara tu saiyaara…  
Sitaaron ke jahan mein,  
Milengey ab yaara…

He held her other hand into his, swaying her lightly into the starry curtains on top of their heads. Whispering sweet promises for a better future, he urged her to hold on to this love. He was as hurt as she was, the feeling on abandonment not being new to him, he understood, and wanted to make her understand better, that he wasn't abandoning her…

This was just a new chapter; they could get on with the physical longing, as long as they loved each other enough.

Saiyaara main saiyaara,  
Saiyaara tu saiyaara…  
Sitaaron ke jahan mein,  
Milengey ab yaara…

_I have told you this before, and I'll tell you again. I have tried to end it all. _

_Even today, when I tried to burn the letters, I thought of reducing to ashes with them._

_Then why? Why do my attempts fail so miserably everytime, Rey?_

_I never would have thought of myself as someone so weak, yet, here I am. A lowlife who cannot even stop writing letters she never sends. _

Tu jo mila, toh yoon hua,  
Ho gayi puri, adhoori si dua…

Taani gazed back into those molten hazel orbs, understanding how much they wanted to stay, yet how much they HAD to go. She hugged him with all her might, expressing what the lyrics were speaking out loud.

Tu jo gaya, toh le gaya,  
Sang tere mere jeene ki har wajah…

_Maybe… Maybe these letters are what keep me going on with life. Or else, I would stop feeling you at all, and that would be the end of me. _

_Yet, If your existence means so much in my life, why don't I just send the letters? Right? _

_Why don't I stop being such a coward and tell you face to face, that I STILL LOVE YOU?_

_Isn't the answer quite simple? _

_You are gone. Your heart is someone else's now. _

_Why would I come back to claim it? _

Ho jaaye jahan tu jaaye,  
Paaye mujhe hi paaye…

_Everytime I close my eyes, I can see you face. _

_The last of what I had left you as… _

_The horror stricken face, trying to come to terms with my denial. What I had told you was true back then. I had never said that I loved you. Simply, because, I was a coward then, and I am a coward now. _

Saaye yeh mere,  
Hai tujh mein samaaye…

He hugged her back. Trying to melt into her. The warmth she possessed, just made everything lighter for him… He knew she understood the depth of emotions he wanted to convey to her. And for the first time in that day, he let out a sigh of relief.

Saiyaara main saiyaara,  
Saiyara tu saiyara…  
Sitaaron ke jahan mein,  
Milengey ab yaara…

_After tonight, I pray I don't dream of you anymore. _

_The dreams haunt me every single night, Rey. As if opening a hole in my chest blatantly, and then pouring vitriol over it. _

_How did you do it, Rey? How did you?_

_I really want to know how you could move on. Coz, I, desperately, want to move on too._

_I am sick and tired of feeling this way, and nothing, absolutely nothing helps._

Saiyaara main saiyaara,  
Saiyara tu saiyara…  
Sitaaron ke jahan mein,  
Milengey ab yaara…

An understanding smile now grazed her lips. And that, made him smile too. Somewhere in his heart, faith renewed, that their relationship could take this. A few hundred kilometers would prove to be nothing. He held her securely now, lightly swaying her to the music.

Tum pe miti, tum se bani  
Tumse hua hai haan khud pe yakeen

She kissed him lightly, reverently. Her mind full of devotion towards him. He had defined her life in a way almost indefinable.

Tu jo nahi, toh na sahi  
Main hoon yahaan toh tu hai yahin kahin

_I still feel your presence everywhere I go, Rey. Which quite frankly, eats me up. _

_What's the point of it? What's the point of molding my decisions around your imaginary reactions? _

_I want this to end. I really whole-heartedly do. _

_And that is why, tomorrow, I finally start living my life as mom wanted me to. _

_Maybe, I wasn't born to take decisions. That's why nothing I ever want is deemed right. Right?_

_I wanted to Dance, that wasn't right._

_I wanted to form a team, that wasn't right._

_I wanted to love you, even that wasn't right. _

Ho jaaye jahan tu jaaye  
Paaye mujhe hi paaye

_So now, I have accepted, I shouldn't want anything in the first place. Just follow the path people set for me. _

Saaye yeh mere  
Hai tujh mein samaaye

_It would be easier then, I think._

Saiyaara main saiyaara, Saiyaara tu saiyaara…  
Sitaaron ke jahan mein, Milengey ab yaara…

His eyes opened wide in shock, and he realized he was holding her too tight to his chest. Sighing, he eased her away a little, realizing that she was soundly sleeping in his arms either way. So another panic attack. A dream he wished wouldn't haunt him anymore. Now almost after what seemed like eternity, the nightmare had reoccurred tonight. He wiped sweat off his forehead, and gazed at the stars.

A dream. A nightmare. _Kria. _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Her train had finally reached Goa. Despite all the coaxing by her mother, she had refused a flight.

There was no point in saving time.

Reaching there early, meant new introductions, forced smiles, and much unwanted human interactions.

It wasn't that she couldn't make new friends. It was almost impossible to think Kria was incapable of making new friends. It was just that she didn't _want_ to.

She unloaded her luggage from Tivim railway station, and then got into a bus for Sanquelim. One look outside the window and all she wanted to do was stay there forever.

It was serene. No other word described it better.

Who would have thought Goa had such majestic mountains? Hmmm. She would miss Dehradun much less than she thought.

She remembered the last time they were about to go to Goa. It was just after she had given her final performance in St. Louis. Weaklings had been so disappointed when she hadn't reached Goa. They had been ditched by her.

Well, who knew that she had ditched life by not coming to them. Not coming to him.

How she wished life had given her a chance. To come here with him. To atleast have that one _last_ dance.

She shrugged the thoughts off of her. Damn thoughts.

She was allotted a room, and much to her relief, it was a single accommodation. When and how had she started loving solitude so much? Made her disgust for her rise every single time she thought this.

Would she ever want company again? She knew deep down she craved for it. But then, something always stopped her in her tracks. The thought of all the pain again was just too much to take.

It wasn't as if she had only deceived Rey. She had deceived every single one of them. Leaving was the worst thing she could have done, and that was precisely, what she did.

She switched on the lights in her room, it was almost twilight, and the view from her room was beautiful. At least there was some advantage of a room on the first floor. She went on to sit on the Knotted Chair in the balcony, letting the now perennial headache ease out a little from the cool Goan breeze.

A strong knock on her door jolted her out of her peaceful slumber. Here came the headache again, she sighed, and went to see who it was.

"Hey! Everyone is going to Tito's! You wanna come?" A random person was outside the door, her tone a bit louder than normal.

"Do I know you?" Kria questioned. Was this the norm here? Just go ahead and knock on some person's door at lord knows what time of the night?

"No! All of us have just come today, right? It's kind of a fresher's meet! Come! It'll be fun!" She said. And now Kria thought the person standing outside was high. For sure.

"Ummm… I dunno. I will think about it. You mind telling me what Tito's is?" Kria asked, not sure that she wanted to go in the first place.

"Yaaaa Sure! It's in Calangute! If you leave in an hour or so, you'll definitely get yourself a ride from here… Everyone knows where Tito's is! Baga is the most happening beach here!" The girl chirped.

She shut the door with a dull face. Huh! Like she was in a mood to PARTY!

That too at this hour of the night!

This hour?

Exactly what was the time?

She had slept in the evening and right now, stars were heavily visible outside, which had made her presume it was late night.

Well, she checked, and it was only 8!

How stupid of you Kria, are you losing your brain cells by the minute too?

Obviously it was early, the campus was almost on a mountain, right?

So, that left time to go to the party. Would she?

She knew it would be good to go grab a bite somewhere. And considering she didn't want mess food from the first day itself, it was pretty much a nice idea to go the place that girl was mentioning. What was the name again?

She rushed out in a pair of black denim shorts and green tee, not even bothering to comb her hair. After all, who was going to notice? It was just going to be a messy sweaty party in a disc with almost no lights.

She jammed the keys, money and cell in her pockets. The only thing adorning her hands was a wooden carved bracelet, the only remnant of Rey she had left in her life.

She made it to the hostel gate, and saw hoards of people leaving all dressed up. Suddenly, she felt a surge of discomfort and stopped in her tracks.

Would she fit in?

It wasn't as if she rode high on confidence during the last year of her previous college, she had more or less become invisible to everyone, even her old friends in Dehradun leaving her due to her ever-aloof nature.

So when she saw the divas, she involuntarily shuddered a bit, hesitation clouding decision.

"Hey!" Some guy on a scooter came right next to her. He was dressed in green as well, and for once she thanked lord, coz the guy was looking so messy, that she would pass off as a princess next to him.

"Hi.." Came her awkward reply. Of course, it would be awkward; she hadn't talked to a guy in forever.

"Hop on. If I am guessing right, you are a fresher too, right?" The guy smiled, and something about his smile made her want to do what she had stopped doing for a long long time, _trust. _

"Thanks…" She said, "I am Kria." She seated herself behind him.

The scooter jerked to a start, and instantly Kria could feel the soothing wind ease her mind and heart to a level she never knew even existed.

The wind ruffled her already messy hair, and she felt really earthy cologne greet her senses.

"You can call me Shelly! Nice meeting you, Kria!" Strange, the guy's name was exactly opposite to his smell! She couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Ohhh please. Not you too! No, It aint a girly name!" The guy instantly cribbed on hearing her giggle, which only made her laugh out loud with her head tilting back.

"No! Not at all… Besides that would be rude to someone I just met!" She managed to choke up in between giggles.

Somehow, it already felt like a new chapter beginning. Her headache was nowhere in the vicinity. And she felt light. Was this that easy?

Her hands clutched the back rod of the scooter, willing her for it all to be real. Yes, maybe, just maybe it was. Hadn't Rey been able to do it this easily?

"Haan Taani, I reached safely…" He said for the thousandth time into his phone, what with she asking it every five minutes.

A knock on his door made him divert his attention from the phone call. Some guy asked him to come to a disc with everyone…

"_Kaun hai?" _the voice on the other end had enquired. And instantly he knew the answer to what he was going to do about the party.

He sighed, and told the guy off, he had to console her tonight, and this was probably the first night of the start of their long-distance relationship now. He couldn't leave her restless and go partying somewhere.

"Freshers sab jaa rahe hai disc. Toh someone had come to call me too."

_"Aap kyun nahi jaa rahe?" _

Sigh. He could almost imagine the naughty pout. On usual times, he would kiss that pout.

"Kyunki mai Princess ke bina party kaise karu?"

The voice giggled, "_Pata hai Rey, It was goa that I saw you for the first time…" _

"I know, love. You have told me this before."

They had reached Tito's by now. And though Kria's headache was gone, hers ears were aching. God, the guy talked! So. Freaking. Much.

"So, ready to boogie?" he beamed.

"Boogie? Who says boogie in this age?" She laughed. Alright, now her jaw ached too!

Hmm… Sand, it all felt like sand. And it felt a bit brighter than she remembered it to be. Wait, she didn't remember IT at all!? What was the time right now? It felt like early dawn.

She winced a little. Why did her lower body feel so sore?

Wait what?

Clothes? Clothes! CLOTHES GODDAMMIT!

She awoke with a jolt as soon as she realized she was sleeping butt naked in the sand. Her burning eyes searched frantically for her clothes, and as soon as she saw shorts and a green something, she put them on, not even caring to see the guy who was lying next to her, all in his full glory too.

Her breathing hitched at realizing the situation.

God.

No please god. No.

She ran. Ran as fast as she could.

Making her way back somehow, she rushed to her room panicking, all frazzled, pretty sure she was going to empty the contents of her stomach.

She wiped the freely running tears off her face with the dirty hands and felt her eyes burn some more with the sand. Splashing water everywhere on her as much as she could, she tried to undo it. Undo it all.

Yet to no avail.

After almost hours of crying and greeting back the throbbing headache, she made her way out. To the writing desk. Sitting on the Chiavari chair, with a pen in her hand, she did what she was habituated to now…

_Dear Rey, _

_Kaise ho aap?_

_I am sorry, Rey._

_I am so so sorry. _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She woke up, quite surprisingly, without a headache.

Her classes started from today, and she, well she had to dig up her confidence from the pits of hell to actually move from the bed.

What had happened to her promises of a clean start?

What had happened to the strong Kria?

She wanted her back. The mode she was in now was tiring her to new extents. She had never felt this tired even when they used to practice nonstop for footloose.

_Footloose. _She sighed, wondering who would have won. Maybe, she would aask Swayam someday.

So many thoughts merging in the head, yet zero headache. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.

She pinched herself hard in between her morning routine of getting ready. Well, felt real alright.

Then, why no headache?

Well done Kria Ghai! Now get yourself a headache thinking about why you don't have one!

She made her way to the first class, reaching exactly on time, and finally feeling that she was here to attain an important degree. Her classmates didn't really look as friendly as they all were on the night she had been invited to that godforsaken place. Somehow, everyone right now looked as if they had their rivalry mode on.

Oh well, not her first time though.

If there was something she was very accustomed to by now, it was competition.

She pushed back the guilt, the pain, the guy & probably everything else into the far back corner of her brain. She took the seat, which literally, had her name on it.

A very polished looking man, probably into his early 40s came into the lecture hall & everybody rose.

He gave his introduction and briefed them about the system at GIM, how the first year would work for them. GIM had four divisions in first year itself and the projects that were given involved interacting and participating amongst all four, just to help everyone decide what specialization they would end up in second year. Every student introduced themselves too, telling about the background from which they were. And without much further nonsense, the lecture began.

After what seemed like an eternity of filling pages, and an acute arising need of coffee, Kria was done with her first day, pretty much feeling soulless.

This was going to be _hard. _

Much harder than she had imagined.

So, at the end of the day, Kria mentally checked.

Zero Headache.

Zero Energy.

Zero Friends.

Not bad. She mused, getting up on her almost asleep legs.

As she made her way upto the canteen, the far off corner of her head started becoming active again. And she made the first conscious attempt to remember exactly what had happened the other night.

Nopes. Nothing. Zero memories.

She thought about that really strange guy, with whom, quite miraculously, she had managed to screw up her life even more. Well, she remembered the two-wheeler ride they had, God, the guy never stopped talking. She wondered if he was in her class… Had she heard a Shelly during the introduction of 60 something people? Maybe not….

She joined in the queue where other zombies like her were waiting for coffee, the one thing that kept all of them mentally sane enough to function. She paid for her cup, and made her way to the library, not bothering to make small talk to any other living being around her.

Yet, involuntarily, her eyes searched around for Shelly.

It wasn't as if she was attracted to him, the man she had foolishly slept with, neither did she think low of him, for having one night stand with a girl, because somehow, the brief conversation they had on the ride, made her trust him enough that he didn't do one-night-stands just like that.

It was just that she really really wanted to know what had happened. It was necessary for her to know, to keep her from going crazy.

She knew she wasn't someone to do such a thing blatantly, and Shelly, was not someone she wanted to do such a thing with in the first place.

But even though she came across many weird faces, Shelly's weird face was not anywhere to be seen.

She sipped on to the hot latte, clearing her mind off Shelly, and went for the library.

Her eyes searching the way left and right, she didn't pay heed to what approached her ahead.

She bumped her shoulder into somebody's shoulder blade, therefore spilling all her hot coffee on her left hand.

Yet, all the sensation in her ceased, at hearing the guy's voice,

"I love you…."

The guy had passed off uttering these words without even bothering to look at whom he had bumped into.

But Kria….

Kria ran.

Kria ran as if the hell hounds themselves were seeking her.

It was _him_.

It was _his _ voice.

_He _said 'I love you.'

She caught a stealthy glance backwards, to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

And what she saw confirmed all her worst fears. He was on the phone. That meant he was talking to _her…. _

Her crushed heart ached some more.

Chills ran up and down her spine, the gravity of her pathetic situation now dawning upon her…

Rey was going towards the cafeteria, busy professing her love for the 1000th time since morning. He hadn't even watched what he had bumped into, but had heard a faint sound of spilling something….

He had turned around after sometime, in hope of apologizing to whomever he had hurt, if that person was still in the vicinity.

Yet nobody was there.

All he saw was a tall lanky girl, having really beautiful, dark, ebony tresses, reaching down her back almost in the middle of her shoulders and waist, running away.

Strange, even while sprinting furiously, she had such a graceful posture to her body. Almost familiar.

Kria was turning breathless from all the running…. When suddenly, she froze at what she heard from behind….

"Kriaaaaa!" Someone called.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Shail Mallick was hopelessly tired now.

He had just gotten out of the administrative office, after having one of those lengthy nonsensical arguments about pets in the hostel room. For the third time in three days.

Sigh. Why did his roommate have to be so fussy? What was the problem with some harmless animals taking refuge in their room?

Shail had never been someone who walked away from a wounded being. Wasn't it supposed to be basic human nature to care? To mend what was broken?

And that's when he saw her. God, she looked even more beautiful in the bright of the day!

She was walking in the corridor, completely clueless, maybe looking for something, with a coffee in her hand. And instantly, he felt a need to go give her whatever she was looking for.

He recalled the absolutely ill-timed moment when he had met her, she wasn't at her best back then. She had looked like she would break any moment, a thousand insecurities and hesitations playing on her face wildly, what else would Shail have done but protect her? In whatever way he could.

He knew she was special. He didn't know why he felt so. He just did.

If he wasn't sure of this, he never would have even talked to her so much in that night. Bared his whole life before her. But hadn't she disappeared? He was hoping he would go find her the first thing this morning, had it not been his dumb roommate complaining about the baby python.

It was a bruised baby snake for god's sake! That too not poisonous! It wasn't going to hurt anyone! Why did his roomie have to scream his lungs out?

Bruised creatures needed to be healed. Healed until the scars faded completely. How was this so hard to comprehend?

And then, he saw her crashing into some guy. Spilling her coffee… Strange, didn't she get burned by that? Then why didn't she scream?

The expression on her face right now told a completely different story… As if she wanted to scream but couldn't find her voice… As if she wanted to cry but couldn't find her tears… As if she wanted to stay frozen but couldn't find the strength…

He saw her run then. Run for her life… And that was all he could take… He ran after her too, wanting to just ask her if she was alright.

His mind was so frazzled in the moment that he couldn't understand why in the first place he felt the need to protect her. Or more importantly, why did he feel so strongly for her? Hadn't he just met her the other day?

And when he couldn't take the running anymore, he called out to her. And saw her froze.

For a moment, Rey thought he heard _her_ name. Or maybe, he was finally giving in to his crazy. He heard the voice coming out of his cell, calling out to him. But the mere ghostly mention of her name made him want to empty his insides out. And back in Mumbai, everyone understood this more than necessarily, that's why they never took _her _name.

He tried his level best to shrug off the chills in his spine. Quite obviously, she wasn't here.

Of course not.

As if there was only one _Kria _in the world.

He turned his attention back to the present, throwing the past back into the dark pits he didn't want to visit ever. Besides, the way she had left her, she didn't even deserve remembrance.

He finally caught up to her. And why the hell did she look like she had seen a ghost? Her face was blanched, and he could bet that she had gone cold too.

"Kria?" He waved his arms in front of her, trying to brick her back from whatever planet she was visiting right now.

"Huhh?' She finally said, concentrating on who exactly this was in front of her.

"Hey! Finally found you, love. How have you been?" He smiled as warmly as he could at her, though his insides churned at realizing how hurt this girl really was. How badly she tried to survive it all. God, what had happened to her to bruise her so badly?

And then he remembered the night they had spent together. Hmmm.. _Rey… _

He needed to know so much more about this girl. Not just the drunken details she had spit out that night, but real meaningful, heartfelt stuff. If only she would open up without alcohol.

Kria saw a guy standing in front of her. Why did he look so familiar? She turned her lost gaze back at him, to examine the 6 foot something creature standing before her. He had a really neat shaven look, and sleek straight jet black hair. Was this the same Shelly she remembered? One look in those eyes and she knew he was.

The guy had the most honest black eyes Kria had seen in a really long time, and right now, they reflected concern. Strange, who was he concerned for right now?

And then she realized the sweat in her palms. Cold rigid palms. So, she had been that transparent, huh?

She felt woozy all of a sudden, remembering the reason for the cold. And before she knew it, Shelly blurred right in front of her eyes.

She woke up feeling groggy, not knowing what surroundings she was in, but when the light felt familiar to her hostel room, she eased up a bit.

"How are you feeling?"

The voice made her jerk a bit. She wasn't expecting him in her room. She just stared at him for a moment, before calming herself down and nodding to him, a weak smile which would indicate that she was fine.

"Kria… You do remember me right? Or are you trying to forget me? And I keep on popping up before you? I am not generally this stalkerish, you know? I just…. I just wanna say something.." He uttered. Damn, he felt sweat creep down the back of his head. He never usually was this nervous before someone, but then; this situation was a first for him.

Kria looked at him for some time, thinking about whether or not she wanted to even talk to him. Yes, this was Shelly. But somehow, the warmth when she met him that night was missing. Right now, he definitely didn't look at ease. Which was so unlike what Kria remembered him as.

"Shelly, I am fine.. ok? I just… I am not here to make friends, alright?" She lied, "I am here to study…"

As soon as she uttered this, she saw his face lit up. He smiled so radiantly at her, she couldn't help but laugh at the unbelievably pathetic crap she had just uttered.

"You said the same thing the other night, love! " He laughed his heart out now… And Kria found her warmth back.

When finally he stopped, he got this sober look on his face, earnestly saying a "Sorry…"

She finally knew there was no need repressing it all inside, and prepared herself for the answer to what she was going to ask…

"Shelly… What happened that night?"

He had a scared look on his face, which he was sure she could see as well. So she didn't remember?

Had he been eating himself out for ruining somebody's relationship for nothing?

She needed to know it all as fast as possible.

"Kria? You remember gulping down my long island in one go as you were choking on your mac-n-cheese?" He asked…

She did remember eating like a pig as soon as she had landed in the club… But everything else was just down the drain… So she nodded slightly in affirmative, now intent to listen to just what had made her end up with him…

He could see her determination, and for a moment, he felt that atleast at some point in life, she must have been a really strong girl. And that meant he could help and bring back that girl. Only if that _Rey _of hers allowed him. Why didn't that _Rey _protect her, when it was so clear on her face that she needed protection?

He continued telling her about the arguments they had, that dance couldn't be a profession… That he was dumb to think of opening a chain of studios across India as soon as he finished B-School… The bet they made for the dance faceoff… The bet she lost to him… And the moment they forgot the bet and danced swaying a bit in some other fantasy… And then the kiss… Which led to something else…

He saw the horror on her face as soon as he mentioned the kiss, and as much as she tried to control it, he saw the tears making their way out of her eyes… He saw her turn her head away from him.

Clutching into the bed sheet, Kria writhed in the agony she felt at conforming her deepest fears to be true.

He rushed to her side, taking her into his arms, soothing her back, patting her head, trying everything in his power to make her listen to what was the most important part of that night.

"Kria.. Kria please! Please meri baat suno… Listen to me once…" He tried… But seeing that she wouldn't stop another panic attack consuming herself, he just blurted it out as harshly as possible..

"KRIA! You cried out his name… As soon as I entered you, you said REY!"

She stopped crying… And looked at him. She thought she was with Rey? How much lower will she go with her self esteem? Her mind asked her.

She felt her heart pain again, and her body numb out.

He saw she had stopped crying. That meant she atleast didn't consider it two-timing if she thought she was with her Boyfriend. Good… He was hoping for that. No matter how much he wanted her, he wouldn't want to hurt her to get her. Almost time he finished up here.

"So I couldn't do it to you. I am sorry Kria. I didn't know you had a boyfriend. And I am ready to take all the blame… Look, we were drunk… You much more than me… And besides, nothing much happened. I'll talk to your guy… He can even beat me up… Don't worry. I am here to take the responsibility of it all, Kria…" He explained wholeheartedly.

What the hell was he saying? She couldn't understand a word.

And when she couldn't take anymore of his pleading, she said what she could manage to get out of her mouth, "I don't have a boyfriend, Shelly. Would you please shut up and leave?"

To say that he was flabbergasted right now, would be an understatement….

She didn't have one?

Then who the hell was Rey?

He moved away from her, placing a sandwich which he had brought for her, thinking she hadn't eaten and fainted, on her bed, he fulfilled what she had just demanded out of him. He left.

Kria got out of her class, feeling the urge of more coffee; she made her way to the cafeteria again. She hadn't seen Shelly since yesterday, and for the moment, she didn't want to see him.

It wasn't as if she didn't like Shelly. The problem was, she liked the guy. He made her feel warm. And that wasn't good in the least. She couldn't have been paying any less attention to her way, when suddenly she saw somebody stop in her way. She pulled her eyes off of the ground to see who she had almost bumped into, and time stopped still.

He was standing there.

He was here. Before her. Looking into her eyes.

She could feel her throat going dry at watching his eyes stare intently into her face.

For a moment maybe, she saw the molten hazel back in the brown ones.

But then, he did what broke her again.

"Excuse me, you are blocking my path Ma'am… Please move…" He said, his voice devoid of any attachment. Much colder than he had once used with Shivam back when they were dating.

She willed herself to move out of his way, holding her breath till she could only see his retreating back.

And then she collapsed. She had been denied _again_ of what she wished for... _Remembrance_.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_"Maine kaha ki aap mere acche dost se kuch zyaada ho… Par kabhi yeh toh nahi kaha naa, ki mai aapse pyaar karti hu?" _

_"Ab sab sirf Kria Ghai ka naam lenge! Reyaansh Singhania, ek loser hai, bas!"_

_"Aap mei aur Swayam mei, zameen aasmaan ka farq hai!"_

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

She woke up with a jolt, all drenched in sweat. The horrifying nightmare, that she had bestowed upon him a year back, had come back to haunt her tonight.

She hadn't thought of that night, or moreover, tried not to think of that night, when she had been the most downright cruel human being to walk the face of earth.

But today, after watching herself through his eyes, his cold glassy eyes, she was reminded of what she had done.

She hadn't even warned before butchering him down to pieces.

Yes, she had cried down rivers on her actions. But well, she never really knew what he had done in those days.

And watching the frigid behavior today, she knew there was no way to repair what she had done. Maybe, just maybe his Taani would warm him back to those old generous levels. But for Kria, Rey was a lost cause.

She sighed and sipped on the glass of water at her bedside table. Switching on the table light, she sat on the chair, writing again.

_Dear Rey, _

_Kaise ho aap? _

_Yeh kaisa sawaal hai, hai na?_

_But I can't help but ask this every time, Rey. Coz, somedays, I just pray, out of jealousy or whatever, ki aap bhi utne hi bure ho jitni mai. _

_Kaash, aisa hota. _

_What happened to those eyes, Rey? What happened?_

_Did I kill the warmth? _

_Deep down, somewhere, I always knew that a day would come when I would succeed doing that. Killing your spirit. _

_I had always been lethal for you, hadn't I?_

_Maybe that's why your army never liked me. _

_Why do I feel that we were wrong to have started a relation in the first place, Rey? _

_Had nothing like that happened, _

_I would still be able to watch you smile with warmth every day. _

_I would still be able to hug Neha every day. _

_I would still be able to fist pump Vishakha every day. _

_I would still be able to ruffle Swayam's hair every day._

_I would still be able to teach Bharat a new word every day. _

_I would still be able to tease Amar every day. _

_I would still be able to watch the life emerge out of you when you would dance. _

_And I would still be able to feel alive when I dance. _

_I still would have been alive. _

_Today, I wanted to feel alive. After all, I had seen my reflection in your eyes after eons. That always made me feel alive back then. _

_Then why didn't it today? _

_Maybe things really have changed. _

_Maybe I really don't mean anything to you anymore. _

_Maybe I really should just stop writing. _

_Forever yours_

_Kria_

She folded the letter neatly, as she was used to, and stacked it into the pile. Turning off, the table lamp, she willed sleep to come this time, praying for it to be dreamless.

But even breathing was such a big task right now, let alone sleeping.

So, she didn't bother with it at all and just left her room, to search for a better place to breathe.

_"Maine kaha ki aap mere acche dost se kuch zyaada ho… Par kabhi yeh toh nahi kaha naa, ki mai aapse pyaar karti hu?" _

_"Ab sab sirf Kria Ghai ka naam lenge! Reyaansh Singhania, ek loser hai, bas!"_

_"Aap mei aur Swayam mei, zameen aasmaan ka farq hai!"_

.

.

.

.

.

He woke up with a jolt.

Ofcourse, he was bound to have this nightmare tonight. Hadn't he met the nightmare in the day? Then why not welcome it in night as well.

He tried to locate his mobile, trying to get a sense of time and place he was in. Maybe he could call Taani.

But, he didn't feel like it. His throat was dry and choky, and he knew Taani would just worry unnecessarily.

Sleep wasn't an option anymore; the nightmare would just come back. He had to find a place where the nightmare wouldn't follow him.

**In our headlights, staring, bleak, beer cans, deer's eyes  
On the asphalt underneath, our crushed plans and my lies  
Lonely street signs, power lines, they keep on flashing, flashing by**

He turned on the cars radio, wishing for something to just soothe him at this time of the night. And started driving away, not knowing where he was heading to, just downhill.

The soul crushing music almost felt as if it was taking pleasure in rubbing salt in his wounds, but after a really long time, Rey stopped fighting it, and let it hurt.

**And we keep driving into the night  
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye  
And we keep driving into the night  
It's a late goodbye**

Kria…. He had tried so hard last time, he had almost succeeded. He had stopped the dark from engulfing him. He had sworn he wouldn't ever get hurt because of her again.

He had managed shutting it all inside.

Yet today, one look at her face, and it all just burst inside.

**Your breath hot upon my cheek, and we crossed, that line  
You made me strong when I was feeling weak, and we crossed, that one time  
Screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes, keep on flashing, flashing by  
**  
Her doe eyes, why did they look empty?

Her ever so rosy lips, for the first time in his life, looked pale to him, as if they had lost their sheen. Why?

What was she doing here for god's sake?

His mind opened up that chest of vitriolic memories, each razor sharp, evading his heart, burning in their own fire.

She had been his anchor when he thought the world around him was becoming too heavy to bear.

She was his life support when he felt he couldn't lead the dazzlers much longer.

**And we keep driving into the night  
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye  
And we keep driving into the night  
It's a late goodbye**

His eyes poured the hot brine out effortlessly. And he thanked god that the road was empty. He wouldn't really like driving into traffic on this blurry vision he had.

He lowered down the windows of his car, letting the humid air brush his face. Not much helped during these times, and he was glad again that nobody was around him to see his condition.

**The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us  
Points at your flaming hair, and then we're playing hide and seek  
I can't breathe easy here, less our trail's gone cold behind us  
Till' in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak**

People would laugh.

Yes, people would definitely laugh at his story.

This cannot be real, they would say.

Stuff like this only happens in stories, they would say.

Irony at its best, they would say.

He stopped as he reached the shore. Breathing heavily… He needed air, only god knew how badly.

Why did it end like that?

Why did she end it like that?

And when finally, he was in one-piece, why did she have to come back to make sure he shattered?

**And we keep driving into the night  
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye...**

He pulled the seatbelt away, seeing something in white move on the shore.

Great, he was hallucinating again.

After such a long chase, the nightmare still was everywhere.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

The radio was still at full blast, but it didn't seem that way to Reyaansh. Hadn't he read somewhere, nature's most beautiful creations were the most ruthless predators as well? The beauty was always supposed to be a trap. And like a helpless moth, he just felt irrevocably attracted to the light she was emanating, walking on the beach, as if flowing to his heartbeats. Clad all in white, she was putting the full moon to shame.

_This shouldn't feel this way,_ the back of his mind echoed. So he questioned it, _Then why does it actually feel like this?_

Hearing no answer being echoed back, he got out of the car, walking towards her, the sheer numbness of everything else overwhelming every sense.

Did she know she was being watched?

Cause it sure felt like that… Who else danced for themselves?

And then he remembered, she did. Had always done.

There had to be a cure for this… Or else how would he stop?

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now

He had almost run to her. Ran like his life depended on it. He had to see her face, know what was going on.

Why was she here? Why was she so beautiful? Why was she such a pure torture?

He snatched her hand, twirling her back into his frame. Water droplets flew everywhere as she crashed into him, while the waves crashed into them.

The expression she had. Sigh.

Was she crying? She never cried while dancing, at least not while she had no reason to.

So, then why did the droplets of water on her face seem to make a pattern downstream?

Why did her confused muddy brown eyes look so puddle and grim right now?

_No, there was no escape. _His mind acknowledged.

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
When sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

"Kriaaa…" He breathed her to life, as if being recognized was all her eyes were begging for.

He didn't know he had been keeping the hurt to himself as well, as if her name from his mouth put him to peace as well.

She looked so thankful. Why was she?

Was it that she cared whether he actually remembered her or not?

As if there was nothing else she wanted.

Within moments, he realized she had clung to him hard, sobbing and sighing in some strange comfort.

When had he stopped requiring the sheer warmth her body emanated? God, that had to be a pathetic loss of sense. There nothing was better than the heaty fragile being in his arms.

He felt his arms covering her into himself.

_What was he trying to do? _His mind asked… To which all he could reply was, trying to reach her temperature. 

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

He breathed in that scent of hers. Had it really been a year that he had not felt it? It didn't seem that way. It was so characteristic to her, almost impossible to recognize the spices that went into it. Would he stop?

She couldn't believe where she was. She was in his arms. She was home. Again.

Her crying stopped as she registered the fact. She had heard him calling her after ages it seemed, and nothing else would compare to it right now.

She tilted her head back, trying to see why he had hugged her. But one look in his eyes and thoughts really didn't seem to be coherent right now.

Did his eyes look watery? They sure did.

His hands lightly grazed her back, slowly moving downwards, away from her body. And for some strange reason, he looked sad at doing that.

She clutched his shirt to where her hands were on his chest, moving a bit forward so that the gap between them eradicated, and stood on her tip-toes, so that she came in level to his face.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

Maybe it was the moon, Maybe it was the water, Maybe it was nothing, but the hot breath of hers on his face, really made things go haywire.

He didn't even realize when he had touched her lips, or was it she who had touched his. All he knew was his life depended on that kiss.

He kissed her as if it was the last kiss he would have, Ever.

His lips burned the gentle pale ones, trying them to color them his own favorite brand of red. Her hitched breath mingling into his so effortlessly that it almost made him sigh with arousal. He bit her lower lip cruelly trying to tell her to stop him. Almost daring her to stop him.

He felt her hands ruffling the night of his hair. Daring him to continue the assault. Daring him to new heights, and he was sure he would win this dare.

His hands clutched the wet fabric on her back, almost tearing the edges, while he nibbled on to her lower lip, making his way to her jaw, peppering fiery kisses, leaving his trail, marking her best he could.

Her knees would give out any moment now. She clung to his body, almost begging the assault to give her strength, not take it out from her. And that's when she felt him clutch the back of her lower thigh, forcing her to take support of his waist from her leg, with his groin being in full contact of her own wetness, not even the layers clothes sheathing it.

Her head bent backwards sighing, as his trail continued down her throat, moving dangerously into the valley between her mounds, and her hands holding on to his hair, thrusting his head and mouth to dig deeper into her.

Ohh the moans. He swore he had never felt this exhilarated at hearing someone moan.

His hands had finally found the back zipper of her dress, and with much more concentration than he could manage to give right now, he unzipped her dress, making it slightly fall so that her cleavage made itself appear.

He bit into the flesh hungrily, almost not realizing it would leave a terrible bruise. His hands were clutching her bare skin from her back, roaming, touching every part of skin they could.

She found her hands snatching his shirt over his head, baring his torso. It wasn't long before she felt herself void of clothes as well; with him sucking places that made her melt like nothing else.

With his hand crushing, massaging in circles one of her mounds, he engorged the tip of the other into his mouth, licking her, until it peaked firm with need. He then continued assailing the other one, till her heavy moans turned into his name.

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

She pulled him back upwards, missing his lips on hers, and continued the breath-numbing kiss again… While he engorged her whole in his arms, entwining both her legs around his waist now, so that she could literally rub against the throbbing erection he had.

He laid her softly on the wet ground underneath, hovering over her neck, licking behind her earlobe, sensuously biting it.

She felt her tongue tracing a wet line, down her neck, slithering down in the space between her breasts, her stomach, biting succulently at her navel, till it finally reached her core.

A gasp escaped her, as his tongue played inside her, teasing her to new horizons.

This wasn't happening. No…. This was too excruciating.

She wanted him, like she had never wanted anything. Then, why! Why the hell was he still teasing?

What was going in his mind?

Just when she thought this, she felt his throbbing member enter her with a surprise.

Finally!

He shoved and stroked her, to a rhythm which soon her hips got accustomed to, and they joined in the most intimate dance known to humans.

Yes, this was what rapture would feel like.

I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am

Her eyelids felt the red heat surge up, and she was in no mood to wake up from the bliss the night had been.

She realized she was sleeping on his arm, and moved a little, careful not to wake him up.

Suddenly, his phone rang at full volume. She tried finding it somewhere in the sand, dreading him waking up to that.

But she was too late, the cell had drowsily stirred him off of sleep, and following the noise of it, he had picked it up without even opening his eyes.

"Good morning love…" He said sleepily into the phone, "I love you too jaan…"

And cut the call, going back to sleep, without even realizing, that Kria had just heard that.

Realization struck hard. Really really hard. Last night wasn't bliss. It was a nightmare. Only to be lived again.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

He rubbed his eyes sleepily. The sun was hurting them so much.

And almost instinctively, he looked around.

But there was nobody around. Only the shimmering sand irritating his skin, so he got up, clothed himself and walked lazily to the car, scared at what had happened last night.

He searched for his car keys, and got in. Had he just slept with Kria in full senses?

He waited, a long time for the guilt to flow. But strangely, none did.

Why? Goddammit! Why!

Why had it felt so perfect to his body that not even his mind was willing to acknowledge that he had just cheated on his girlfriend?

He stumped his head down on the steering wheel, making the horn blare out his ears for a full minute.

What would he do now?

What would Kria expect of him now?

What would he tell Taani?

Or, would he tell her in the first place?

Oh to fuck with it all…

Kria stared at the ceiling of her room. Drawing invisible, imaginary patterns on the white roof.

She had slept with Reyaansh Singhania.

The guy she had left heartbroken in cold blood.

The guy who still was in a relationship with someone else.

The guy whom she hadn't stopped thinking about for one moment.

The guy who had whispered a sleepy I Love You to his girlfriend being naked right next to her.

Sigh…

Alright. This had to end. All of this, just had to end.

She got off her bed to get ready, giving all the things roaming around in her head a shove back to some abyss.

She didn't want any of this.

When had god started playing such insane pranks on her, goddammit?

She didn't like being god's favorite child. Not one bit.

And so, she thought, while scrubbing shampoo in her hair, _all this had to end. _

What had happened shouldn't mean anything at all.

And even if her heart leaped and bounced the instant she remembered last night, it still was a mistake.

She rushed to the hostel mess, getting her first dose of fuel to get her through the day. And after finishing the coffee much too quickly, went to her classes.

The first half passed by with her right hand aching with the notes she had to take down, and she felt her fuel running out. Well, time to refill.

She bought herself the black clear fuel she needed desperately, and two chocolate almond doughnuts with it.

Searching for a place to sit in the canteen, she grazed a conscious eye to search whether he was in the vicinity or not.

And that's when she spotted him.

She remembered how she had behaved the last time she had met him, and went over to apologize.

"Hey!" She tried her best to smile, while he was reading into his iPad, sipping his coffee nonchalantly.

Shelly jerked his head upwards, to see who was standing in front of him.

It was her. Looking as beautiful as ever. Maybe more radiant than the last time he had met her.

"Hi…" He breathed, remembering how she had asked him to leave last time, trying not to really bring that up again.

"Mind if I take a seat?" She asked.

"Yeah! Sure… How have you been?" He asked back, being as polite and safe as possible.

"Shail, I am sorry. I am not usually a psycho like that… Trust me.." She didn't know why, but his being formal pricked her. He was the only person here she could actually talk to, and him not talking properly back was bugging her to no ends.

She saw him smile.. And then, his face got sulky again.

Did he not forgive her? But he just smiled, didn't he?

"Kria, I am sorry too." He blurted, taking out something from his bag.

Kria gasped a little when she saw it was her bracelet. The only remnant of her past relationship, broken before her.

No, she couldn't do this. Good! _Good! _GOOD! She chanted in her mind.

Yes, it was a good sign it was broken. She didn't need the bracelet.

"I found it like this on the beach. I tried my best, but it just won't glue back together!" He said, apologetically.

She smiled. Maybe, it was for the best after all.

"Obviously it won't! It's made of wood! Now you owe me a bracelet, Shelly!" She said in mock anger.

"I was hoping you would say that!" His smile lit up his face, and Kria felt relieved at the warmth he emanated again.

Wasn't he just soothing? She thought.

And the next moment, he brought a metal piece out, placing it in her palm.

She saw what he had just placed in her hand, and she couldn't believe how beautiful it was. It was a really simple, chain bracelet, with intricately carved sun charms all around it. It still had the warmth from his hand in it, and she found herself putting it on the next moment.

Somehow, that little piece of jewelry made her feel really good, much more secure.

"I am glad you like it…" She heard his voice, nodding at the fact that he had already comprehended the meaning of Kria's gesture.

"It's impossible not to… It IS really beautiful…" She said.

"It had to match its owner…" Shail replied, almost reverently.

"You really are bad at cheesy lines! You know that, right?" Kria jabbed him, adjusting the bracelet in her hand at the same time.

"I know right! I felt it too as soon as it came out of my mouth! Atleast, I try… I am not like mai-yahaan-iss-sab-ke-liye-nahi-aayi-hoon!" He poorly imitated her, earning a punch on his shoulder in return…

They laughed and chatted for the whole of the break, until both were disturbed by the siren, which meant that break was over.

"You made me miss my ET reading!" He contorted his face in mock horror, making Kria almost choke with laughter.

"Ohh please! I bet you completed your ET on toilet this morning!" She punched him lightly, as both of them rose, going in different directions of their respective classes.

She felt almost proud of herself at the moment. Yes, It was this easy.

Why had she not tried before? When it was all this easy?

The whole time, she hadn't even thought of him once. And that meant that she was doing great.

She could almost pat her own back.

And then, she froze.

He was standing, with no expression whatsoever.

Why was he there, in such a dark place, almost looking as if he was waiting for her?

And before she knew, her legs were taking her to the closet in between the two buildings, on whose door was Reyaansh standing.

She entered the closet, and without uttering a single word, closed the door behind her.

The bare 4 feet distance was closed between them rapidly, as he claimed her lips furiously. She melted again, reciprocating the kiss which almost made her soul shiver.

His hands clutched hers in passion, making the kiss even more feverish. Her knees would give in any moment.

His tongue licked the outline of her rosy buds deliciously, urging her to open up, and she gladly agreed.

He hungrily tasted her insides, savoring the delicious unique flavor she had.

*Ring ring*

She turned into a statue at hearing his phone ring, almost stone cold in between the kiss.

But he somehow, didn't seem to pay heed to it. He continued, mercilessly, bruising her lips with his bites.

"Ow!" He jerked away from her.

She didn't know what had happened. One moment he was in her mouth, the next he was rubbing his hand for some reason.

And then she saw… The sun charm of her bracelet had pricked the skin on his arm, making him break their kiss, and bring them back to reality.

Both saw into each other's eyes, completely blankly, without a single hope for any answers to the million unspoken questions.

They straightened up, silently got out of the door, and went up to their different classes, with nothing but meaningless swollen lips.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_"I would catch the moon for you, but would you have the time to get amazed?_

_I would write to you, but would you have the time to read, soak and understand?_

_I would fight the world for your happiness, but would you have the time to care?_

_I would cross the oceans to come to you, but would you have even missed me? _

_I would go quiet...and I know you won't have the time to notice."_

He silenced and looked at her for a while, questioning her with his eyes, and she couldn't really say anything, the crease on her forehead becoming prominent by the second.

After a full five minutes, he sighed, and gave up.

"Uff! You seriously are dumb when it comes to literature, Kiri!" He chided, inviting a mug thrown at his face, which he caught with expertise.

"I don't like this game!" She retorted.

And he broke into laughter.

Of course, what else could he do?

Could he ask why were her lips always bruised and swollen nowadays? No.

Could he ask why there blue and green marks on her neck, nape and arms nowadays? No.

Could he ask who exactly was giving her those marks? No.

So, what else could he do, but enjoy the measly time he got with her? It wasn't as if he was forcing himself on her anymore. She called out willingly to him nowadays.

But, maybe that was due to the project they had just been assigned to. Maybe he was getting his hopes up for nothing. Maybe, she really didn't see him after all.

Now, that they were playing a dumbass game to take their minds off the grueling project, all he could do was seethe silently at those marks on her body.

Goddammit, who had been making them?

Was it that Rey? But she had herself said that she didn't have a boyfriend. Then what were those marks all about?

They were definitely hickeys, he could bet on it. But Kria wasn't someone who would fool around with just anyone.

At least not in her full senses.

Did that mean she had been drinking every night and prowling down the halls for prey?

Wow! That had to be the most stupid sight possible. He was with Kria last night. She wasn't drunk. Yet there were new marks this evening!

"If you don't stop staring, I swear to god I'll throw you out of my room, Shelly!" He jerked back to his senses on hearing this stern voice out of her.

Sigh. He hadn't even realized when he had stopped laughing. This girl was surely the death of him.

"Let's play a new game then. Cause, you suck at this Kiri!" He tried to salvage himself.

"I do NOT suck at this! But yeah, if you want, we'll play something else." She replied.

"What do you wanna play?" He asked.

She seemed to be deep in thought, as if choosing a game was almost like finding the solution to world peace. He chuckled at the thought of Kria finding world peace. And found a pillow stuck to his face in an instant.

"Rapid Fire! Let's play rapid fire truth!" She chirped.

"What? What the fuck is that?" He couldn't help but swear.

"Arre! It's simple. We ask questions turn by turn. And you have to answer in the span of a second!" She answered him.

"Hmmm.. Okay. But this is the last game for the night. Then we go back to the project. Okay?"

"You are such a bore, Shail Mallick!" She retorted.

"And you, Kria Ghai, are dumb!" He replied as curtly as he could, catching the pillow flying at him mid-air.

"First Crush?" Kria asked.

"Ritika Khetawat, Class 9th." He answered, "Favorite Color?"

"Blue!" She answered, "Jeans or PJs?"

"PJs!" He said, "Cream or Cookies?"

"Cookies! Anyday!" She replied, "Vodka or Rum?"

"Scotch!"He smiled, "Hiphop or Ballet?"

"Ballet." She beamed instantly, and with a mischievous glint in her eyes, asked, "Lost virginity to?"

He went quiet at the question, his warmth receding a bit, and said, "I should leave, Kria. It's late."

She couldn't understand what had she done wrong. They were having fun. She hadn't realized it was such a sensitive topic for him. But she couldn't say anything anymore, so she just let him go.

"Goodnight, Shelly." She said her voice serious.

"Goodnight." He replied and shut the door behind him.

She would have gone to sleep then and there, had she not heard her phone beep.

It was a sms from someone, and with no consciousness at all, she changed clothes, and went to the place she was called to.

It was pitch black, and a bit of the chilly air hit her face. She felt a strong force pull her, and she gasped out loud at his hand holding her back so fiercely.

The next thing she knew, her lips were melting into those slightly rough ones, and she regretted the gasp just now, as she was already breathless.

Her hands found the night of his hair, and pulled him closer to herself, thrashing his lips even more.

He bit her lower lip, nudging her to open up, while his hands secured her waist, grazing the side of her seductively.

She reciprocated it all, opening fully to him, fighting a battle with his tongue. The fight slowly turned into a coordinated dance, wreaking havoc on both their senses.

He broke the kiss, only to perform further ministrations on her neck. He bit her slowly, sucking each place till it turned a beautiful crimson, and moved on to next place, closing in on her cleavage.

As soon as he was satisfied with the marks, he made his way back to her lips, while she sighed the whole time.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

She hurried up back to her hostel, if only she could be fast enough. Hoping nobody was on campus right now, she only prayed that the bite marks would recede fast.

*Thud*

She crashed head straight into someone, and cursed out loud.

"Can't you see where you're going?" She burst out.

"Kiri?" The guy in front of her questioned.

She opened her eyes out wide, as if caught red-handed. He was the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Shail? What are you doing here?" She questioned back.

He was quiet, very uncharacteristically quiet, which made her gulp.

What was he staring at?

He couldn't take it anymore. It was really unbearable. There were new marks on her already. That was twice in a day. He just couldn't take it.

"You. It was you." He said, mechanically.

"What? What are you saying, Shelly?" She questioned, confused.

"You were the one I lost my virginity to, Kiri." He told her, and moved ahead, leaving her standing there.


	10. Chapter 10

[A?N: Happy Valentine's Day my lovelies!]

Chapter 10

She tossed and turned once more on her bed. Screw the men in her life to take away her peace and sleep.

Sleep... How could she? After what he had told her, sleep was the last thing that would come to her. How had she become this cruel creature? How had she become the criminal? Wasn't she the victim most of the time in her life? When had she crossed the line?

Uggh... Her head ached some more.

To think... To think that she had been this heartless with a man possessing such a pure heart...

What if somebody was as cold to her as she had been to Shelly with her first time?

He... on the other hand, knew that it was her first time, and had stopped before pushing her.

He had been nothing but a gentleman, explaining to her, comforting her.

And what had she done? She had thrown him out of her room that day.

He had stopped pushing further into her. He had wholeheartedly opened up to her.

And he had respected distances just now too. Of course, she knew he had been staring at her hickeys for the past few days. And she saw the tinge of hurt his eyes possessed at staring at them too. Yet, he never once asked. He just continued to be a support.

And this is how she repaid him?

By not bothering to acknowledge his oh-so-prominent feelings. By being cold and ruthless. By being rude to the point she hated herself for it.

And what was the use of all this? Why was she thinking so much in the first place?

It was not like she could reciprocate his feelings, right?

She smoothed her fingers over the sun bracelet that he had given her, gliding over the rays of the metal sun, wondering how it remained warm even though supposedly metal was cold at all times. Her heart somewhere wanted, really badly to reciprocate those feelings.

Wait.

WHAT?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

No. It didn't.

And no, she didn't love him.

She wouldn't love anybody anymore.

That was the gist of it.

She cursed her mind for thinking those nefarious thoughts about Shelly. And now willed herself to sleep.

**_Her eyelids felt so warm, and that radiant red color she felt, somehow told her that the sun was shining bright for her. _**

**_Maybe a bit too bright, she thought, slowly bringing her hands to cover her already closed eyelids. _**

**_Where was she now? And what time was it, that the sun shone so breathlessly radiant? _**

**_She felt someone tug at her arm, pulling her, and instantly she felt her body warm up with the body temperature of that arm. _**

**_She slowly blinked her eyes open, and gasped at what was around her. _**

**_Beautiful..._**

**_She was in Dehradun! She couldn't believe her eyes!_**

**_Ohh how much had she missed the Valley Of Flowers! _**

**_She breathed in a heavy gust of air, trying to memorize how it felt like being here. This was her personal sanctuary... away from the world, the whole time she had been heartbroken. _**

**_The orchids always sung to her, no matter how many of the visitors, they always sung exclusively for her..._**

**_And the poppies, ohh the blue poppies always smiled their vibrant smiles to make her blue mood go away..._**

**_She wanted to go kiss the marigolds and the bell flowers... _**

**_She twirled around, in the direction that the hand that was pulling her was, to thank whoever it was to bring her here._**

**_And then stuck frozen._**

**_Shail... Why was he smiling so much?_**

**_Why was he so happy?_**

**_Ohh! She realized, her heart melting at the realization. He was happy because she was smiling. _**

**_She instantly lunged in for a hug, and felt his enormous chest engulfing her. A sense of relief and security washed through her, as his arms curved up along her back, ensuring that she was held on to. Safely. _**

**_"Shail... Thank you..." _**

**_"Kiri, Anything to make you happy!" He breathed into her ear, nuzzling at it. _**

**_She pulled her head off of his chest, and slowly looked into his eyes. She faintly smiled as he dipped his head a little, leaning into the kiss, while she closed her eyes, finally completing the much awaited contact from him. _**

She jerked off of her bed in shock.

What. The. Fucking. Fuck.

She gulped down a thick amount of her own spit, trying in vain to cure her very dry throat.

Her head hurt right now, and she felt extremely disoriented. As if just on cue, her alarm started ringing by her bed-side at full volume, only to add more to her pain.

Stupid fucking morning dreams.

-x-x-x-x-x-

He felt ashamed of himself. He knew he shouldn't have, yet he had done just the stupidest thing ever.

Why couldn't just keep your blabbering mouth shut, Shail Mallick? He chided himself.

He knew she didn't want to know that. He knew he didn't need to burden her with that information in the first place.

And he knew she wouldn't talk to him anymore, considering he was pretty much a freak in front of her now.

Ugh, when had you started screwing yourself over so badly Shelly?

You went out with a girl who didn't remember she was with you.

You slept with a girl who thought she was with her boyfriend when she was with you.

You gift her stupid arm-pieces when somebody else gives her the hickeys instead of you.

You lost your goddamn virginity to a girl who didn't want to be with you.

You then, went all out demeaning yourself, when you proclaimed out this fact before her, when the last person she wanted to see was you.

Seriously Shelly Freaking Mallick, what the fuck are you doing with your life?

He sighed and got up, willing himself to get ready for classes.

-x-x-x-x-x-

She had been praying all day, and from the looks of it, her prayers were being answered.

She hadn't encountered him throughout the day, and she was hoping that he wouldn't meet her in halls too.

And just then, she faced into a head-on collision with him.

"Ouch!" He exclaimed, rubbing his chest, where she had imprinted her head.

"Owww..." She rubbed her head.

"Whaa.. Ohhh.. Kiri? Ohhoo.. Are you okay Kiri? Watch where you are going!" He instantly moved his hand, replacing hers, rubbing her head.

She felt he warmth from his hand dissipating into her soul, and cried out, in agony, flinching away from him. Why did he care so much? Why?

"Sorry... I am so sorry Shelly.. I shouldn't have..." She sobbed, unwilling to look into his eyes.

"Kiri. Come with me. NOW." He took her hand, and pulled her, almost stumbling her.

Where was he taking her now? She thought. She shouldn't have cried. But what could she do... If only, he stopped caring. Please... _Stop caring for me Shail_.

It took hardly ten minutes on his two-wheeler, and he was now leading her by foot into some caves.

She felt her heartbeat hitch... Where were they, the darkness arising the latent fears in her body, involuntarily shivers jerking in her.

And then she felt it. Her dream, her dream coming alive with that sparkling ray of sunlight...

The water, flowing down in that sparkling stream, and the flowers, all so unbelievably beautiful, she just couldn't help but die a bit on the inside.

"Shail... This is so beautiful.." She breathed, fresh tears making their way.

"Ohh please Kiri. I brought you here to make you happy... Why are you crying now?" He spat out, a bit angry.

"Cause you just won't stop, Shail! You just won't stop!" She came down on her knees, her breath coming in short gasps.

"Kiri! Look at me. LOOK. AT. ME. GODDAMMIT!" He bend down to her level, forcing her to look into his eyes, "It's enough now... Tell me what's wrong with you? Abhi!" He forced her.


	11. Chapter 11

[A/N: Hiii there lovelies! How have you guys been doing. Now If you would notice, i contacted admins, and had Dil Dosti Dance category made here.. and even made them add the characters. So If anyone of you wants to start posting on this site, its gonna be great. I would recommend this site as its much easier and hassle free. Plus there is no need for PMs if you just press the follow button down there.. ]

Chapter 11

He felt the mobile vibrate, next to him. It seemed he was intent on digging himself up a deeper hole than he already was in. This was **her** ninth call today, which he hadn't picked up. And it didn't seem like **she** would give up today. It was not like **she** was at fault here. The whole and sole blame was on his shoulders, and he very well knew that. He wasn't doing anybody good. But hey, it was not like stopping was in his hands either. _She_ was almost like a lethal drug, the more he tasted her, the more he wanted to inject her in his veins. _She_ made her feel complete. That was it. That was the only reason he went back to drown every day. _She_ was everything Taani wasn't.

Taani was warm and fuzzy. Kria on the other hand, was cold. Very Cold.

Taani warmed him up, yet Kria was the same temperature he was.

Taani needed him. And he, well he realized this for quite some time now, that he needed Kria.

But Taani was already a major being in his life. And he knew he had committed a sin which amounted to no going back. So, he adapted to this way out. He just had stopped picking up her calls.

He closed his eyes, going back into the simpler times. He put his mobile's vibrate alert off too, to escape reality just for some time more.

**_"Aap mujhe yahaan kyun lekar aaye hai Rey?" she said. _**

**_He removed his hand that was caressing her face, and as if he had been spaced out, observed the vicinity. Where was he exactly? _**

**_Last he remembered putting his phone down and lying on his bed. _**

**_Oh! He was dreaming. Of course. _**

**_He realized he was in St. Louise's fire exit. Did he miss his previous college so much, that he was dreaming about it? _**

**_"Rey?" She seemed to question him, "Hum yahaan kya kar rahe hai?" _**

**_"Koshish..."He replied back, smiling into her eyes. _**

**_It was an amazing feeling, this... knowing that you are dreaming. _**

**_Her chocolate laden eyes pooled with curiosity, and she asked another question, "Kiski koshish?" _**

**_And his eyes danced with mischief. Ohh how he had missed this Kria. _**

**_The current Kria was fine and all that, but it was this innocent Kria he missed so much. _**

**_"Exactly."He replied to her, "Kiss ki koshish." _**

**_He moved his face near her, and felt her goosebumps rise. It amazed him how he still felt insane delight on watching her squirm under his will. She was so pure back then. His Kria. _**

**_Not like she had any impurities right now. Except the fact that she left him to rot alone, everything was still the same with her. _**

**_He felt her shove him away, and like the natural reaction it was, he pulled her back to him. _**

**_"Rey... Chodhiye naa mujhe. Bhai ne dekh lia toh?" The girl who thrashed back into his chest squealed. _**

**_Taani? WTF?_**

**_He felt his hands go cold, and gulped down the fear arising in his heart. He was cheating on her. And here, she still was, the same, innocent, pure, woman-child that he loved so much. _**

**_"Accha sirf ek kiss. Bas! Uske baad jaane do aap mujhe." She misinterpreted the shock in his eyes as something else. _**

**_He felt himself leaning in to her, while she made contact with his rough lips, warming them to her own warm temperature. _**

A chilly shiver ran down his spine, travelling to the edge of his fingertips and toes, making him jolt up and come back to reality.

He felt the mobile light flicker, though for only a brief second or so.

He reached out for it, to see who had messaged. Of course, he knew who. But some tiny part of his heart wanted the other who to message.

'Remember, I will always love you.'

He read the message, and felt a lump forming in his throat.

How wrong was he now.

And how had he landed up in this position?

Reyaansh Singhania, the Superhero.

He wanted to burn at stake. He never had been this wrong in his whole life. This was so new, so utterly disgusting, that he just wanted to go bury himself in a grave somewhere.

He threw the mobile under a pillow, and wound up finishing the assignments for the project.

* * *

"Kiri... Are you really waiting for me to say something?" He asked her, after what felt like eternity of her explaining the dynamics of her relationship with Reyaansh Singhania.

She seemed to have spent all her words previously, when she told him, how she left him. When she showed him those stacked up letters, fearing he would consider her a psycho of sorts. When she had finished, he had gone completely silent. And she really didn't know what to say anymore. So, she just nodded.

"I really can't say anything. It's not my place to comment." He sincerely told her, as it really wasn't his story there. Rey was, and to some extent, as he now knew, still is an inexplicably important part of her life. So, how could he, selfishly remove Rey from Kiri's life.

"Please... I need to know that you don't consider me a psycho or something!" She managed to choke out.

"Sorry. The one thing that I can say is, He is insane, your mom is also insane, and you, my love, definitely are insane too." He breathed out, chuckling a bit at the end.

She seemed to have found his statement extremely satisfying, and laughed her heart out with him too. As he managed to see her back to her radiant form, he excused himself for the night, as he was extremely tired and needed some real alone time to think and process what Kria had told him.

An old song seemed to hum in some hostel room nearby his, and he couldn't help but laugh at the monstrosity of resemblance his Kiri's life was to that Pink Floyd number.

He started humming it too...

"And everything under the sun is in tune...

But the sun is eclipsed by the moon."

[So... how was it? And yeah, the song by pink floyd is not owned by me.. hehehe! its a song called eclipse. If you want to, you can check it out]


	12. Chapter 12

**[A/N: Alright. On time! Yaayy! Accha, I do not own a damn thing. The poem is called Easter 1916 by W. B. Yeats. And you are free to check it out. Please like and review this chapter. I have high hopes from you guys..]**

Chapter 12

He just wanted to go in some deep dark corner and brood. Yup, brood his heart out. Why hadn't he fallen for anyone this hard before? And what was this strange affinity he had to wounded creatures. Let alone wounded, Kria here was pathologic.

She was so wound up in him; there was no way she would ever be his. Then what the fuck was he doing goddammit?

She had told him, how she had left him just for the sake of her mother.

She had told him, how she had left dance just for the sake of her mother.

Bile rose in his throat again. How could a mother be so heartless to her own child?

He sighed. No, there was no going away from Kria now. He just plain couldn't. But first, he needed to know which section this Reyaansh Singhania was in.

Wait.. _Wait. _WAIT!

He didn't need to know.

No, he wouldn't know.

He didn't want anything to do with her Rey.

She could keep him. Hell, she could go back to him.

He didn't care. It was not as if Kiri was his in the first place. And quite frankly, he hated the notion of a woman _belonging _to a man.

So, he didn't want Kiri to _belong _to someone in the first place.

He wanted to love her. Bas. Belonging to someone never was the trait of humans anyway. She wasn't jewelry, to _belong _to someone...

He hummed something, as he finished the last of his powerpoint presentation for the submissions.

* * *

"Aap mujhse break-up kar sakte, yeh aap jaante hai naa?" The voice was low on the other end, but was serious.

No ill-will in that voice of hers. She was as pure as they came. Then why, why couldn't he answer her just now?

She was asking to be freed of the torture he was lashing on her. She was asking of him, what was her right. But yet, he was as selfish as they came. He couldn't latch himself off of her. He needed her, to keep sane. Yet he didn't need her, to keep sane.

Would he stoop lower?

"Nahi.. Aisa kuch mai nahi kar sakta. Jaanti ho tum." He breathed out, finally talking to her after so many days.

It felt so good, hearing her voice, after such a long time. He didn't even know why he did this to himself in the first place. She was good for him. She was perfect for him. He loved her. He loved her so damn much.

"Ab I need to finish my submissions jaan. I'll call you when I am done. Okay?" he asked her, trying to push in some confidence into this relationship of theirs.

*Knock Knock*

He cut the call, and rose from his bed to address to who was at the door of his hostel room. It was 3 in the night, and he knew who it was. Of course, why wouldn't he? He was the one who had called in the first place.

He opened the door, and let her in, taking in her fruity smell as she swept into his room effortlessly.

He closed the door behind her, and put the latch in, leaned on the door heavily, facing away from her and into the warm wood of the door, and sighed heavily.

Yes. He was going to hell.

Yes. He would enjoy the ride to hell every minute.

He turned his back to the door, now facing her. She was standing and half leaning on his bed, with her face away from him. Her one leg was taking support on the bed, and she was halfway to removing her tee, with one hand already out of it, and the rest of her body was still stuck in the tee. She was maybe struggling inside with something else altogether, that's why her actions were so haphazard.

"Here... Lemme help." Rey breathed from behind, near her ear, sending her shivering in the intense heat intensely.

"You want the AC to be turned off?" He asked, amazed that she was shuddering so much.

"Nahi. It's okay." She replied, now somehow regaining her task at hand of removing her tee.

"Ruko.." He said, again, stopping her mid-action.

He reached out for the tee, where it was resting slantingly, and slowly he grazed his digits along the naked exposed skin of her waist, and roughly then pulled it off of her. He threw it away and next moved to unclipping the hook of her bra.

It took Kria hardly a second to turn into him, and start undressing him with her.

She pressed her lips into his, melting into the familiar comfort that only he possessed. He kissed her back with equal fervor, as if his life depended on it.

That was the idea behind their sex always. They always reacted to each other as if the world was ending.

She fought his tongue with hers, reigning control over him, while her senses went into overdrive over the hot clammy emotions burning her up. His hands moved downwards, cupping her behind, and pulled her into his lap. She racked her nails down his now naked back and moaned sinfully, enjoying the pleasure to the fullest.

He dipped his fingers into her core next, all the while his lips ravaging hers with the ferocity of a hungry tiger. She cried with the pure joy, her moans accelerating every passing second.

They continued this unison of their bodies, until both of them were slumped down, exhausted.

She faced his sleeping face, and lightly kissed him, before getting up, taking her belongings, and then leaving his room.

As soon as he heard the door click, indicating it closed, he opened his eyes, and slithered his fingers on his lips, that she had just kissed before leaving.

* * *

He was reading absentmindedly, still thinking about the sacrifices the girl sitting near her had made in her life. He was in her room right now, completing their collective works. So young, yet had to throw away all her life for the people that she loved.

Though Shail didn't want to, a few lines roamed around in his mind, and subconsciously, he voiced them. "Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart." He instantly regretted that he had said that, but was shocked at her reaction to this.

"O when may it suffice?" She asked him. _So_, He thought, _she knew this poem. _

He smiled genuinely at her, trying his best to cheer her up and make up for his mistake, "That is Heaven's part..."

They worked on the assignments for more than two hours, and finally sleep was evading them. He got up, and started collecting his things.

She was just staring at him intently, maybe thinking something.

He just got up, and was about to leave, when he heard her say,

"When sleep at last has come

On limbs that had run wild.

What is it but nightfall?

No, no, not night but death;

Was it needless death after all?

We know their dream; enough

To know they dreamed and are dead;

And what if excess of love bewildered them till they died?"

She had her eyes closed, when she was reciting these lines from what he had spoke of initially, and all the things he was holding in his hands, involuntarily fell from his hands, as he lunged forward and held her in his arms, as she shook vehemently as she cried.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**[A/N: Alright, before I start this, I want to tell you guys something. My dear readers, by now, please get comfortable with the fact that a person can love more than one person at a time. Yes, Kria loves Reyaansh. Yes, Reyaansh loves Kria. But their love is not the one that survived the test of time. It is dormant right now. It is riddled with misunderstandings and time has passed way too much. So, yeah. And Yes, Rey loves Taani. That is why, he will never leave her. Because, he knows how it feels being abandoned by someone you love. He loves Taani too much to let her go, despite being wrong himself. And YES, Kria loves Shail. She has realized this already when the last she cried over how much he cared, and how much that affected her. So, She will go to Shail. NO, Shail is not trying to break KriYaansh up, because there is NO KriYaansh right now. He is not some meddlesome guy who would do such a lowly thing. He loves Kria way too much to make her choose, and that has been made quite clear in the previous few updates. Now, A Big HOLLAAA to Alisha! I soooo wish I could give you that ending, coz frankly that's what I want! Oh, the poem last time. It actually depicts the sacrifices one has made, and how those have left one's own dreams dead and decayed. The poem says that finally they have slept peacefully, and then the authors negates himself, saying that its not sleep that has come on them who had dreamed and had struggled for it, its death that has come. And was it worthless to die after all? Would it have been better if they didn't sacrifice and not die, and instead achieve their dreams? The whole verse that was used, actually kinda connected with how Kria dreamt, even though she wasn't supposed to. Then she sacrificed her dreams, and is almost dead inside. And then taunted Shail, whether her death was worthless? See, previously Shail and Kria had played this game, and she didn't know a single poem. But this one she remembers by heart, and can even recite it on hearing just one line from Shails mouth. This showed Shail, that she was not only heartbroken because of her previous affair with Rey, she was actually deep down scarred because of how the world treated her. Now on, it'll try to get a little light in this story, as I wanna show progress. The song used here, is called Saadi Gali aaja and is sung by the insanely talented Ayushmann Khurrana and Neeti Mohan. Give it a try, it's beautiful. "Ho-kaah maarda firaan" means, I am calling out to you... The attempt here is to see how Shail is calling Kria towards himself. I hope you guys won't hate me for this, but this story has to move forward, so it'll obviously include a Kria-Shail arc.. Nahi toh Shail ke hone ka faayda kya? ]**

**[A/N2: I just realized my Authors note comprises more than 500 words. Shoollly! And at the end, its Rey's message, so she freezes.]**

**Aaja teriyaan duaawan lagiyaan  
Rab ton main ajj vi ladiyaan **

She opened her eyes, and realized she had been sleeping in somebody's arms. She knew by the fuzzy warmth who it was, and she cuddled a little more into him. He had been extremely good with her last night, consoling the whole time that she wasn't the one who should be harboring the blame. She felt light right now, and it was all thanks to him. Would she allow herself what she was feeling? Would she allow hope to regain its stature in her life? She let out a deep breath, and felt him move closer to her, holding her as if she was his stuffed animal without whom he couldn't sleep.

Sadi gali aaja saanu chahan waliye  
Sadi gali aaja saanu chahan waliye  
Sadi gali aaja saanu chahan waliye  
Tennu ho..kah marda phiran

That thought let a chuckle escape her mouth, and she felt him wake up to that sound. She immediately got conscious of herself, and freed of the embrace she was in, moving swiftly to the bathroom.

Shail couldn't believe this. It was just too good to be true... And that was why, this probably wasn't.

He woke up watching her face the first thing in the morning... How many months had passed for him wishing this to be true?

He smiled, a joyous exuberant smile, as he watched her now coyly get out of the bathroom, and redden up at the prospect of him stretching in her bed.

"Good Morning Kiri..." his husky voice made her blush deepen down to her neck, and he teased much further, "Did you sleep well?"

"Shut up Shaily!" She breathed in fake anger, to hide her beetroot face.

**Ik waari aaja door jaan waliye  
Ik waari aaja door jaan waliye  
Tenu hokah marda phiran  
Tenu hokah marda phiran  
Ho tenu ho..kah marda phiran**

"Kiri! We just slept. Only SLEPT!" He tried to calm her down for the thousandth time in the span of twenty minutes, but she just wouldn't cool down. Who would say she was the one who got hickeys everyday? She was just as shy as any other girl.

Would she let him do this?

Would she open up? She already almost had... He couldn't help but feel exuberant at that thought.

Would she let him love her? His heart asked. And now, he felt restless to know the answer to this question.

If only... If only she gave him one chance.

**Lagdi tu kyun door da khwaab  
Lagdi tu kyun door da khwaab  
Akhiyan cho wag payaan  
Ab dil main lagana tere naal  
Dil main lagana tere naal**

He almost felt at times that she was out of his reach. And maybe that was the truth. She loved with passion, but when she didn't.. She didn't at all. So, either she would give him her 100 percent, or she would give him nothing at all.

But that was the sad part, wasn't it?

He had already given her his 100 percent. Now there was no way it mattered whether she gave him something back or not.. He didn't need anything from her. All he wanted was to give. Give her what she rightfully deserved. She deserved all the happiness nobody ever bothered to give her. She deserved her dreams to be fulfilled. And more than all that, she deserved not to be judged for her actions.

Whatever she did, she needed someone to not tell her that she was doing something wrong.

All her life, on every move she had made, it seemed that people were there to tell her how she was at fault. How she didn't deserve something.

And all _that, _needed to STOP.

**Rooh nu vasaja seene loun waliye  
Ik waari aaja door jaan waliye  
Tenu hokah marda phiran  
Tenu hokah marda phiran  
Ho tennu ho..kah marda phiran**

His heart, his soul, everything belonged to her. If only she would come to him. If only she loved him, even a bit... Or even better, just accepted his love for him, it would mean the world to him.

He had called out to her for forever it seemed, though in reality, it was only six months. Six months he had known her, he had fallen so hard, it seemed impossible to come on top after it.

He stared at her blushing face right now, and concentrated on moving away from her, to the balcony of her room.

The sun was rising, and that always seemed to fill him with energy.

"Kiiirrriiiii.." He called out loudly, hoping she would come running to where he was.

She did. Run, that is.

She stood next to him, furious that he was screaming her name so loudly at six in the morning, in her room on top of that.

"Shail! What the hell!" She reprimanded him, slapping his shoulder a bit, when she saw, he wasn't even looking at her.

He seemed to be happy... for some reason.

Had she done something to make him happy?

She let a smile escape, as she knew he couldn't see that smile on her with his eyes closed.

"I love it when you smile like that, Kiri.." He said, his eyes still closed and his hands in a posture that seemed to be embracing the sun.

**Rab tennu maneya khair chahn waliye  
Ik waari aaja dur jaan waliye  
Tenu hokah marda phiran  
Tenu hokah marda phiran  
Ho tenu ho..kah marda phiran**

She looked shocked, how the hell did he know she was smiling?

Her heart raced now, he could sense her so brilliantly.

"I want you to smile like that forever..." He finally opened his eyes, beaming into her eyes.

She placed a stray hair strand behind her ear, and knew she had to reply to that, making him aware of her intentions..

"I know you do..." She replied, blushing profusely.

He understood what she was saying, and pushed his luck further.

"Will you? Let me make you happy?" He asked, hesitating a bit.

"Yes..." she said.

She was getting ready for classes, finally coming to terms with what had transpired earlier in the morning. Shail was in his room now, getting ready too. She had to coax him for a full hour to go.

She stood still for a second, as she realized her phone had just beeped.

It was his message.

And now she knew, she had to go to him...

_Sometimes, we are so busy chasing the sunlight, that we forget that the darkness is chasing us. _


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**[A/N: I wanna give out a huge bear hug to AnuKriYaansh! Girl, you are the only one who got this right! I mean, You explained the whole plot. Ab toh mere likhne ka bhi faayda nahi! I am so glad atleast kisi ne toh pakda jaake! Yup, this is twilight..! I was wondering how nobody got the Sun references uptil now! **

**Now, I know this is a really late update. But I had office today, and since I am all well now, I had gym afterwards. So I am completely exhausted and I started writing this at 10 PM, isiliye I am this late. **

**To someone who said that my last A/N felt like an update in itself and it was too long.. Nobody COMPELS you to read the A/N.. It is just that I feel its my only option of connecting and talking to you guys, and that's why I write the A/N.. If you guys are not interested, feel free to skip the A/N, I am not gonna stop writing the A/N.. It is MY only way of TALKING and TELLING you guys how I feel.]**

She was pacing to and fro frantically. What exactly was she supposed to do?

And why the hell did she have this almost dying urge to go to him.

She needed to get her facts cleared so badly, goddammit. But right now, more than that, she needed someone to stop her from going. And she knew exactly who would do that.

She ran. Ran so hard she could feel her knees cursing her. But nonetheless, she ran.

As soon as she reached, she knocked on the door, timidly.

"Kiri? It's only been twenty minutes... What's the matter? You need something?" Shail had just opened the door to his hostel room, and had a minor arrest on seeing Kria there, standing and panting as if just having an asthma attack.

"Haan..." She said, puffing, "I do..."

He saw the stressed state she was in, but most of it all, he saw the fear in her eyes. What was she afraid of?

"I need you to stop me, Shelly.. Please." She uttered.

He watched her, puzzled for a second. Why the hell would he stop her? And what from?

"Kya? What from? Kiri, are you not feeling well, love? You are being ajeeb.." He was worried now.

What was with her? She was fine a few minutes back when he left her room. The only reason she would be this frazzled would be... Oh right.

He knew now, and sighed inside. She wanted somebody else to stop her. That only meant one thing. That she didn't want to stop. And if she trusted herself, she would end up going to her Rey. Shail's heart clenched inside, bleeding a bit, as he realized that the only thing he had achieved uptil now with her was just her smile. She still would go to him as soon as he called. He felt divided into two. One part of him wanted to just tell her that she knew he was in love with her, then why should she go to that Rey? And the other part of him, the dominant part of him, realized that this actually was essential for her existence. He knew now, that she hadn't existed much without Rey. She had told how she had spent her last year of graduation college. It was as if she was a zombie of sorts, and if this Rey of hers made her feel alive, then why not!

He took a deep breath, and held her shoulders by both his hands. She stopped panting, and looked deep into his eyes. She was expecting him to berate her, tell her what she was doing was wrong.

But then, how could he ever do that?

"Kiri? Is Rey calling you?" He asked, looking into her eyes honestly.

"Haan..." She said, lowering her eyes, pinching them together, as if waiting for him to scream and make her stop.

"Then? Why are you here, love?" He asked her.

She looked at him with a questioning look, not understanding why he was asking this, but nonetheless, told him what she wanted.

"I want you to say no. Please. Say no to my going to him." She pleaded with him.

"Kiri, Do I own you?" He asked again.

She understood what he was implying, and sighed.

"No, you don't." She replied.

"Then why do you need me to tell you?" He questioned, with sad eyes.

"Shail please... I know you won't like it if I go to him." She tried to reason with him, and tell him that she cared for him.

"Kiri... What I like is secondary. It's high time you stopped living for others.." He tried to make her understand, "If you didn't want to go to him, then you wouldn't have needed any external source to make you stop..."

She bowed down, almost knowing well what he was implying.

"Kiri, go to him. I know you want to." He told her, making her look into his eyes.

"But then... Then would you?" She asked him, unsure of what words to form in the first place.

"No."He answered, confidently, "I am never going to stop making you smile."

She smiled radiantly at his words, and then slowly, left his room.

* * *

She knocked on his room, trying to stop herself, but unable to.

What was about them? Why wouldn't he just stop calling out to her.

And what about her? Why couldn't she stop herself wherever he was involved?

She knew she needed to stop. But she... she just couldn't.

She came inside the room, but this time, it all seemed a little different.

Was it because she realized she loved Shail?

Or was it because she could see his gloom for cheating on that girl?

He looked almost... tortured?

She decided she would risk it, and for the first time maybe, talk.. actually talk to him.

"Kya hua hai?" she asked him, getting a shock out of him.

"Kuch nahi." He replied. His voice was clipped, void of any emotion, as he started undressing.

He reached out to her and filled her in his arms, burying into her as if he needed that chilly temperature of hers.

She kissed the night of his hair, and then proceeded into his nape, biting sucking every possible surface of skin she could find.

Somehow, she felt him hesitating for a split second everytime he did something to her.

Every single time he kissed her, he paused for a moment.

Every single time he touched her, he paused for a moment.

Every single time he thrust in her, he paused for a moment.

She just couldn't take it anymore.. And after all of it was over, she finally asked.

"Kya Taani ke saath sab kuch thik hai?"

He jolted and jerked in her direction, shock radiating from his face.

"You... How do you about Taani?" He asked.

And all she could do was gulp. What was she supposed to say now?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**[A/N: I am so phucking pissed. I tried the whole night kal, but my net just didn't work. And yeh sab tab when I had worked my ass off whole day, had tones of work completed in the evening and had then written this update too! Don't you just hate it when the internet behaves dumbly? Accha a mild warning for this chapter. If you are uncomfy with swear words, please don't read it till end]**

* * *

_"You... How do you about Taani?" He asked_.

She didn't know what to say, and somehow, she had never really been that good at lying. The last time she had lied to him, it had left him and her both so completely broken, that even collecting the pieces took awhile.

So, what was she supposed to do now?

Should she tell him the truth?

Or, should she just run.

Somehow, she chuckled inwardly, all darkness engulfing her, that running naked may not be the best idea.

She enjoyed these sex sessions more than anything, they left her completely sated for one. She knew, these were wrong in every moral compass that was made in the world, but yet, she couldn't seem to stop. Such was the fulfillment they gave.

She sighed, well, let's break him some more.

"I visited St. Louis once." She said, and his eyes enlarged a bit more.

She gulped at his expression. He looked as if he was staring at a ghost.

"And... And you didn't come meet me?" He asked, weakness finally giving way after all this time.

They hadn't discussed, or more properly talked, in all this time in Goa. Except for the first time on the beach, he even had avoided calling her name. And she had done the same, hadn't she. They didn't need conversation after all. It would just complicate things. It would just create things which were not supposed to be created.

So, silently, she started dressing again, realizing it had been utterly stupid on her part to have mentioned to solve a problem for him.

When she was mid-way, only half naked, she turned around to him, her eyes devoid of any need or want for conversation, and asked, "You up for a round two?"

The moment he had asked her that question, his own inner self had castrated him, he was not supposed to do that.

This was Kria he was dealing with. No matter how amazing and sating the sex was, this was Kria he was dealing with.

This was Kria, who didn't give answers.

This was Kria, who left him.

This was Kria, who was always more interested in Swayam.

This was Kria, ruthless, cold and downright cruel forever.

So why the fuck, did he even for a micro-second think, that she would meet him?

And even if he did think in his mind, why the fucking fuck did he mouth it out, and ask her?

His insides churned, and then as soon as he heard her ask that, he couldn't help but smirk. An evil, dark smirk.

"Yup, I am always ready!" He answered, and lunged forward.

She was expecting just that from him, knowing this would bring him back to reality instantly.

There was no need for living in the past, or questioning it.

The past was what it was, and no matter whomever, however tried, it wouldn't change.

And dwelling on what she knew, what he didn't knew, all this was such a waste of time. She'd rather be more productive than this.

So, she smiled back, when he smirked and lunged forward, leaving her jeans on the floor, and getting into the bed with him.

She kissed him wildly, too roughly for her taste, but he was just so tasty at that time, brimming with adrenaline that she just had to suck him in more.

His hands were already tugging her t-shirt roughly, wanting it pulled off or he would rip it to pieces.

She smirked at his need to touch her raw skin, and gave in. She yanked her T-Shirt off, throwing it to the already made heap of clothes at the edge of the bed, and continued gnawing at his bottom lip, drawing out blood.

She licked it off, and sighed as his hands roamed on her thighs, racing towards her sweet spot.

Her moans increased as soon as she felt his fingers inside her creamy folds, stroking her mercilessly.

She bit his neck, trying to suppress her moans, leaving a red possessive mark over him.

When her teeth dug into him, he let out a hungry growl, and pinched her core, making her writhe under him now.

She couldn't bite back the loud moans that were engulfing her whole body now, and trembling, she closed her eyes, feeling her insides squeeze with pleasure. It was impossible to think about the reality right in this moment, as all her body could feel was pure unadulterated pleasure.

He continued till she came, and after a few moments, inserted himself into her, making her reach beyond the world.

After almost an hour or so, they were slumped on the bed again, but this time, Kria didn't seem to be concerned about Rey's problems. She knew better, so she just made her way out of his room silently; ready to attend the next half of her classes.

After she had left, he found that insecurity, that idiotic question make its way back into his mind, and he just couldn't help it anymore. He needed Taani. More than he needed to breathe right now.

He fumbled through his belongings, trying to find his cellphone. As soon as the call got connected, he heard the sweet voice on the other end.

"Hello? Rey?"

He sighed softly, feeling the warmth of those words even through the handset.

"I love you... I love you so much..." He chanted, relieved that she was here to listen to him atleast.

"I know... I love you too Rey." She replied, but her voice had just fallen a bit.

And Rey knew, he couldn't run much longer.

"But I love you Taani... I really do.. I love you more than I can think of being capable.." He muttered, more to himself maybe.

"Mai jaanti hu Rey... Mai jaanti hu..." She was consoling him, knowing very well that was what he needed.

" I love you... But.." He stopped speaking, his breath hiking at the end.

"Yes Rey... It always had that 'But'... She is there, isn't she?" She asked, knowingly.

"I love you... I love you... I love you..."

"I know baby... I know..."

"I need you... I need you... Please come to me... I love you..."

"I... I love you too Rey. Please stop. Stop this, right now."

* * *

"You are my project partner?" He asked in amusement.

There was an interclass project they had been assigned, and he just couldn't believe the irony.

"Reyaansh?" She looked just as amused, but wary too.

"Atleast I know I won't end up doing all the work. You are diligent enough." He smiled a little now, easing himself and her in the process.

"How do you know that? Maybe I changed..." She smiled back, lightening up the atmosphere around them.

"No. I am pretty sure you are not capable of change." He remarked, asking her to show the way.

She shoved down that remark, a lump forming in her throat, and continued leading the way. It meant that they would be doing the project in her room, and she didn't really mind. It was more comfortable and productive anyway. In his room, they would probably end up having sex again.

She turned the key into its lock, and welcomed him in. He slouched down on the sofa styled cushioned chair, and started unwinding his laptop, knowing that the time limit they had been given to work was inhumane. What was with these management institutes anyway? Why wouldn't they consider people as people?

He heard a faint message tone, and recognized that her cellphone beeped.

'I brought Mint chocolate icecream! Hurry up and come Kiri!' Kria felt elated at the message. He had hooked her to this amazing flavor of mint, and no matter how depressed or exhausted they would be, Shail and her would get all their energy back as soon as they got a taste of it.

She hurriedly replied, 'Be there in 5!'

Just then, she remembered Rey sitting in her room, and jerked her head in his direction.

She couldn't say no to Shelly now, so she just figured she would be back in ten minutes, while Rey settled himself.

"Rey, I have some work, I'll be back in 15 minutes, okay?" She asked him, and he just reassured her with a smile.

"Okay..."

"Make yourself comfortable!" She waved her goodbye, and left the room.

* * *

It was almost half an hour and she hadn't returned. He was going mad with the eery silence, and decided to rummage through her book shelf and table, trying to find some productive notes on the topic.

His eyes suddenly caught a glimpse of a heavy stack of letters, and he couldn't help but take them out.

Who wrote letters in this age of the day? Certainly not the Kria he remembered?

Confusion swept his face, as soon as he saw the envelopes all had his name on them. One by one he started opening them up, and confusion soon turned into horror.

_Dear Rey... I am sorry._

_Dear Rey, kaise ho aap?_

_Dear Rey, Mom ne aaj bhi mujhse baat nahi ki.._

_Dear Rey.. Hope aap Taani ke saath khush ho.._

_Dear Rey, Swayam aapke liye bahot khush hai.._

_Dear Rey, aap bahot lucky ho..._

_Dear Rey, kaash mai aapko mil paati..._

_Dear Rey..._

_Dear Rey..._

_Dear Rey..._

Strange. He couldn't feel anything right now. His rage, guilt, horror had taken him to a level where he couldn't feel. He slowly kept the letters back, packed his things and made his way back to his room. He stopped by at the convenience store, and bought two bottles of malt whiskey.

After a few hours of gulping down the bitter terrible liquid, making it burn all its way, all he wanted to do, was _call _a certain someone.

"Hello, Rey, Kaisa hai tu bhai? Itni raat ko call kyun?" Swayam sleepily muttered.

"_Haraami Behenchod, teri himmat kaise ho jaati hai mujhe bhai bolne ki, kutte?" _

Swayam froze at the slurred cold tone he heard at the other end.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**[A/N: Hmm, So I am gonna ask you to promote and publicize this story too. It would be amazing if I received more reviews. Now, Many asked why seedha Swayam ko phone. If you guys remember the first chapter, Kria mentions writing about how Swayam always knew. Now, Swayam knew this forever, and Rey trusted him like a brother. What would you do if you find out the life you have made for yourself was based on a lie, and people whom you trusted so much lied to you.]**

* * *

"Tujhse baat kar raha hun Behenchod... Marr gaya kya?" He slurred again on the phone, crashing the glass in his hand.

The blood gushed out as the shattered pieces of glass hurt him, but of course, right now he couldn't feel any other pain. His body was numb, and his head was swarmed with _what ifs. _

"Rey, tune pi rakhi hai... Jab kal tu hosh mei hoga, tab baat karenge." Swayam's voice was clipped now, and he knew Rey was just blabbering jibberish.

Something didn't really feel right to him, Rey was never a person to start cursing when drunk. He figured that he must have fought with Taani, that's why he was spoiling his sleep.

"Nahi... Hum kal nahi, kabhi baat nahi karenge... Kyunki yahi toh tu karta aaya hai... Tune kabhi baat nahi ki mujhse... Tujhe kitne tareeko se jaan se maaru saale?" He screamed in the receiver.

Now, something was really really weird and out of hand. What the fuck was Rey blabbering on about?

His instantaneous guilt crept up for some reason. No matter how many times, over the year he would suppress it, it would come out involuntarily. He just prayed to god that this was not the topic Rey was talking about.

"Tu kya bol raha hai Rey... Aur itni kyun pii tune bhai? Sab thik hai naa?" Swayam gently asked, making him voice as soothing as possible.

"Mat kar tu! Mat kar aise mujhse baat! Jab mujhe zaroorat thi... Ki koi mujhse aise baat kare, tab tune mujhe sach nahi bataaya... Tu jaanta tha sach! Hamesha se... Par tune mujhe tadapne diya... Ek corner mei sadhne dia... Mai rota raha.. Tune khud dekha tha... Aur ek baar ko tune mujhse sach nahi bola?" Rey blasted at him, his voice a strange mix of alcohol and frustration and guilt and anger.

"Shaant ho jaa.. Please." Swayam replied, trying to calm him down, to no avail.

"Nahi... Agar tune mujhse sach kaha hota... Toh aaj mai yahaan nahi hota.. Cheezein itni kharab nahi hoti... Maine yeh sab nahi kia hota... Woh yahaan hai Swayam! Kria yahaan hai!" His voice broke at the mention of her name, and he couldn't hold his anger from turning into fuming tears anymore.

Swayam just took a gulp of air in him, at the magnitude of the shock. Who could have thought that would happen.

The very next instant, his protective side emerged, his mind rankling with the thoughts of how dangerous it was to keep Kria and Rey in touching distance..

Without thinking, he sighed out, "Taani?"

Rey felt himself choking as soon as he heard that name come out of Swayam's mouth. He knew, he knew how much things had gotten irreparable. He knew how he had failed Swayam. If Swayam had committed the horrendous sin of not telling him the truth, Rey was no saint here, cheating on his sister.

But somewhere deep down, Rey knew he didn't need to even tell Swayam about this. Because if Swayam knew him, and Swayam knew Kria, then he already knew what had happened.

"Kya kia tune Rey?" Swayam asked, his voice suddenly losing the calmness, instead it felt dark, heavy.

Rey couldn't find his voice. There was just no point in staying quiet right now, but somewhere his voice was lost.

"Maine kuch poocha tujhse haraami? Bol KYA kia tune!" Swayam screamed in the line, making Rey tense up now.

He sighed, defeated.

"Joh bhi tu soch raha hai... Woh sab kia maine." He replied, and cut the phone.

He looked in his bloodied hand, and moved from his bed, ready to take out a new glass from the small cabinet. He didn't care about the shards; his life had broken into bits and pieces, what harm could little shards do?

He gulped down the amber liquid, the burn strangely soothing now. He laid down on the bed, his arms spread out on it, and his eyes staring at the ceiling. The fan seemed to hold too much of his attention right now, as it moved rhythmically, making a slight squeaking sound.

He recapped the night that had been coming in his nightmares for forever it seemed. And now, he could actually make out bits and flecks which he had ignored in his own hurt and rage at that time.

He had felt her strange, her voice dry during his last night with her.

He had seen her nose and cheeks uncharacteristically red, but he had ignored that for the venom she had been spitting on him.

He remembered she had turned away from him twice, and could now understand she was cleaning silent tears off of her face.

A few minutes later, he remembered how Taani had entered his life.

He could feel his dying self come back to life when Taani touched it.

He remembered how she had almost Hero worshipped him, just so she could get some attention.

He flinched, thinking about his first kiss with her. How inexperienced and pure had she been. And almost insanely patient, waiting for him to heal before they could take the next step to their relationship.

He always knew that in the back of her mind, she was perennially insecure. And he could blame only himself for that.

He never even tried, to give her 100 percent reassurance that he was hers. Instead, he kept her on the edge, got comfortable with her, knowing she would never leave him.

What would he have done had he known why Kria left?

Surely he would have run behind her.

He wouldn't have given a damn about laws, about family, about the world. He would have rescued her as if his life depended on it.

He wouldn't have let her get this broken.

And he surely wouldn't have gotten this broken. Yes, he was partially repaired, but then, all of this would never have been needed.

But what could he do now... His head ached. The fan seemed wobbly to him, and the watery curtain on his eyes spilled in the form of tears.

He loved her. And he loved **_her.._**

What the hell was he doing?

What the fuck was he gonna do?

Everything just seemed as if it was falling apart. Like every part of his life had decided to make fun of him. Laugh ruthlessly at him, telling him he was a pathetic joke.

He sat up with a jolt, his breathing uneven. He felt choked, couldn't see things right, and was insanely scared at the moment.

*Knock Knock*

"Rey? Are you there?" He heard Kria's voice come through the door.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**[A/N: Alright, most of the times, you guys ask for logic and sense in this love story, and trust me, I know that I leave you with none. But it's because that's what I love in love stories. When I saw Aashiquii, I bawled my eyes out. I actually still am sobbing when thinking of it and it's embarrassing. But the thing is, it was a total my type of story... You couldn't decide which character was morally correct or wrong in that story, and that was the beauty of it. I hope I don't stall things and the story actually moves forward.]**

* * *

Her voice was his savior. Yes, the pathetic clichéd line suited him so well, he would have rolled his eyes under normal conditions. The choking in his throat had calmed down, letting him breathe easily as he realized she was here.

But the very next instant...

She was here. Ohh great fucking lord she was here. He felt an instant chill run down his spine. What was he supposed to do now? What was he supposed to say to her? How was he supposed to face her?

He could feel his hands warm up, and upon looking at the source of the warmth, realized that his blood was gushing out of the cuts again.

Great, how did he look right now? Probably like a deranged maniac. He rushed into the bathroom and let water run over his palms, getting them as clean as he could, and then, with the best attempt at walking straight, he went to get the door.

* * *

She had come back to her room and he wasn't there. She hadn't felt bad, but rather, the manners ingrained in her since her childhood had somewhere pinched her that she had left a guest unattended. Plus, add to that the recent unexplainable series of events that were going through their lives, she just had to check up on him.

So, she had come to his room.

She had been knocking for the past ten minutes, but no sound seemed to come from the other side of the door. Maybe he had gone to sleep already.

She was just about to turn around and head for her hostel, when she heard the door open with the sound of a click, and she could smell the heavy alcohol smell in the air.

Just how much had he started consuming these days? It seemed most of the days he seemed to be wanting escape out of something and alcohol was his go to solution.

He seemed to be sheepishly looking downwards and before she could open her mouth to say something, he uttered.

"Sorry, I cut myself. Did you have to wait for long?"

She just felt so stupid. Why had she come in the first place? What was that tone of voice he was using? Why was he apologizing over such an excuse?

No, She thought, she was reading too much into things.

"Uhh no. Actually, I came to apologize. I am sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone in my room." She said, her voice sincere.

He smiled at her, that eerie pleasant smile of his he used to bestow on her during their college days, "No, you shouldn't have, Kria."

She gasped, mortified and dumbstruck.

Had he just called her Kria?

When was the last time he called her by her given name?

Right, it was that night on the beach... After that, whenever he met her, it always was an unspoken rule to not take each other's names.

Then why?

Why did he just take her name so casually?

She breathed in a large gust of air... Maybe... Just maybe he was too drunk to realize what he did just now.

"Can I come in? You need someone to look at that cut." She took his hand in hers and led him back to the bed.

Once inside his room, she noticed how disheveled it was. Why did it seem like the Tides had ransacked his room?

"What happened here?" She asked, hoping he might be sober enough to give her some answers.

* * *

What was he supposed to say? That he found out that his life was the stinkiest pile of shit there ever was? And that he intended to full on burn himself up into flames because of how screwed up everything had become?

"Nothing much. It just seemed like a good idea at that time.. Popping, Locking, Crumping, Gin, Rum and some scotch." He lied through his teeth, "turns out you shouldn't dance drunk if you are a pro."

He hoped desperately that he didn't sound desperate in hiding the truth from her and then watched as she silently bent down to clean up the pieces of broken furniture.

"Wait! You don't need to do this." He stopped her, but she just smiled back at him, signaling him to just sit down on the bed.

"So..." she turned to him while setting the table back to its original position, "When did you turn Pro?"

The moment she asked that, the moment he felt like he had committed another sin. Now that he knew, it felt like icicles were being stabbed in his heart, knowing all that she had sacrificed.

His eyes could almost see the stage, and her radiance illuminating it, while they all went pro together. All his teammates would have been so darn happy to have her in the team.

And she deserved it the most.

God, how foolish had he been to have not known the truth.

"We... Last year college. Sharon and Swayam handle it now." He said, clearing his throat.

"Ohh... Swayam never told me about it." She replied and silently got back to cleaning.

She was done in only ten minutes or so, and then turned her attention to his bleeding hand.

"Do you have any gauze?" She asked, hoping that his room was at least equipped with a first aid kit.

"Yeah... It's in the bathroom." He replied, his voice strangely hollow.

She returned with the first aid kit in her hands and a serene smile on her face.

Her hands worked efficiently, almost like a nurse, and she wrapped the gauze around his cuts after cleaning them thoroughly.

"You know... You should be caref..." Her voice was cut as he crashed his lips on to hers.

His kiss was urgent and demanding, almost forcing her into opening her mouth. His tongue ravaged her insides, roaming inside the crevices like his whole life depended on it.

When they both had to come up for air, he breathed her name reverently, "Kriaaa..."

She felt her soul just got knocked out of her body.

She froze, fearing for what her life would become if she reacted to his calling.

He froze in reaction to her freezing, realizing what he had just done.

She tore her eyes away from his, understanding fully now the depth they were possessing.

Yes, she had been right all along this whole night.

Those hazel eyes were screaming _love. _

And the irony was, she couldn't give any, at least not to him.

Her love had already been promised, and for once in her life, she really didn't want to accept Rey's love.

She got up, detaching herself from him.

And left the room, in need of air.

* * *

While he sat there, still still as a statue.

* * *

*Knock Knock*

Shail rubbed his eyes; he had fallen asleep quite quickly after that amazing mint ice-cream. And he really didn't need some drug-high kid knocking on his door for a midnight snack.

"Kiri?" He asked, surprised to see her again, "We ran out of ice-cream... remember?"

He joked, trying to ease the heavy air she was carrying around herself right now which was quite visible like a dark cloud.

She looked up, meeting his eyes and he instantly gulped.

_What? What did she want... looking at him like that?_

"Shail? Are you free right now?" She asked, her voice eerily seductive.

"Yeah..." He replied, his eyes trying to read any hesitation on her part.

"Then, will you sleep with me?"

He laughed, dismissively.

"Kiri, You are not serious." He told her, confident. "Do not test me, love. I know for a fact that you don't want to sleep with me."

She knew he would say that. But then, she really didn't doubt herself right now. She knew she needed to be bound to him somehow, so she replied to him as confidently as she could.

"Shail... Are you denying me?"

He was delightful at that... And he really couldn't do anything anymore. As such, in her case, it never really mattered what was right or wrong in the first place.

"I would never deny you, Love. Please come inside."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**[A/N: I know. I am late. But then, when am I not?]**

* * *

She was ecstatic at hearing his reply. It just felt so good to be accepted blindly, and she knew Shelly knew she needed that. She was more than ready to make him a permanent part of her life, and no matter what Shelly thought, she was pretty sure of her love for him.

Though there was a noise nagging at the back of her head, saying that there was no going back after this. Somehow, whatever that noise was saying was only making her happier.

He held her so smoothly, so carefully, that even the miniscule fear that was lurking somewhere was gone.

She snuggled into his arms, finding the warmth insanely soothing. This was maybe her salvation... maybe the final straw that she needed to get over Rey.

Their lips conjoined in sweet bliss and she felt her world come back to stability again. The life of her, that had turned so upside down, came to rest for the moments that he held her, that he made love to her.

Strange, how this was important for her soul it seemed.

With Reyaansh, it was almost a drug most of the times, and here, right now in Shail's arms, it felt soothing. No, it didn't feel electric in the least. It was as if she was being brought to peace.

When they both finally crashed down, tired and exhausted, she fell into the most deep peaceful slumbers she had known.

While him... He was a different story altogether.

Shail didn't know how to feel. Seriously, how do you even feel when you know the girl you have given your heart and soul to will never belong completely to you? Do you stop fooling yourself and move on to mend your foolish heart? Or do you try relentlessly and be happy with the amount of love she has to give?

He sighed caressing her hair as she slept blissfully. One thing he was sure of, he smiled dryly, that she wouldn't be dreaming about that Rey tonight. He shut his eyes tightly, hoping that his mind would get tired and let him go to sleep.

**_She was in his arms. Arms that made her believe in her dreams. Arms that had held her whenever they succeeded in a dance competition. Arms that had been her support during those pseudo-college wars. She was feeling as blissful as she could, when she gazed into the eyes that possessed her soul. She kissed him, lazily, savoring his lips as if they were made out of ambrosia. And he kissed her back. Those hazel eyes really did drip of all the love for her and that was why she felt so secure in his arms._**

**_"Rey..." She breathed out, and he answered._**

**_"I love you." She confessed, it felt just so right right now, she couldn't help but voice out those feelings. _**

**_"I love you too, Kria.." He said, and tightened his arms around her petite frame. _**

**_She relaxed her head in his chest, reveling in that familiar scent of his. _**

**_Suddenly, it was as if the air around her got thicker. She looked up, and saw his face again, but then, if he was gazing so lovingly at her, why was she having trouble breathing?_**

**_"Rey?" She asked him, panic in her voice. _**

**_"Yes, My Love?" He asked back._**

**_"I can't breathe.." She voiced out whatever she could with the limited supply of air. _**

**_"Yes you can, My Love. Stop doubting it all." He retorted back, still the loving gaze of his hazel eyes at full power. _**

**_She felt being crushed under his arms. It was choking, in every literal sense of the word. Her insides felt like they were being squeezed. Her life form was slowing leaving her body, and it was truly truly frightening. _**

**_"Rey... Help me. Please. I really can't breathe!" She screamed, her voice dry out of lack of oxygen. _**

**_He bent down to kiss her on her lips, an indulgent smile on his face, while he tightened his hold on her. _**

**_"Don't joke, Kria.." He replied._**

**_Yet, she could not BREATHE. She started struggling; it was too much for her to take. _**

**_And as soon as she started struggling, Rey started dissolving into thin air.. She thought his disappearance would atleast lessen the hold he was having, but none of that happened. She continued to struggle for breath, and found water collecting everywhere around her. _**

**_Within minutes, Rey had completely disappeared, yet his iron hold was still very much choking her.. His words continued reverberating in her ears._**

**_I Love You Kria. _**

**_I Love You Kria. _**

**_I Love You Kria. _**

**_I Love You Kria..._**

**_"HELP!" She started screaming as the water reached to a level where she started to drown. She flapped her hands and legs, crying out for help in vain while the salty water choked her, burning her insides like hot lava. _**

**_Yet no one seemed to come to her. She was going to drown, hot tears spilled out of her eyes thinking that. She was going to drown because of that hold of his on her. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. _**

**_Kiri? _**

**_She heard a distant faint noise, yet she could not stop herself from flailing her arms helplessly. She was still airless. _**

**_Kiri? Kiri?_**

**_She heard the voice getting stronger, and saw someone coming to her. The person was swimming ferociously, and screaming her name too. _**

**_Suddenly, she felt a ray of hope, tiny as it might, that she would be saved._**

**_KIRIII?_**

**_"Here!" She cried out, half choking half dying. _**

**_"Shail! SHAIL!" She knew it was him. There was nobody else that would cry out her name like that. _**

**_"Kiri? Kiri..!" He held her in his arms, making both of them reach the shore. _**

**_"Kiri? Are you alright?" He asked, as she lay safe in his arms. _**

**_"Shail..." she cried out his name in relief, finally finding the safety she was dying for... _**

**_"Shail... I love you." _**

"I love you too, Kiri... Now would you please stop crying and wake up, love?" She heard his raspy breath, and opened her eyes to see that it was already morning.

* * *

**[A/N: I really didn't think many of you would find a sex scene between Kria and Shail comfortable, so I fast forwarded that a bit. Tell me how you liked the chapter. ^_^]**


End file.
